Attempted VBAC Mums

[{sarah}]

Hi guys,

We've decided to start this thread for all the mums (like myself) who had an attempt at a VBAC, but ended up with a caesarean. It's not just for the mums that laboured before having their C/S but for the ones that were stuck with an "elective" cesarean for some reason or other. This is a place for us to grieve together, to share the loss of a dream that never came to fruition and to help each other heal.

So come & chat, tell us your story......

[{sarah}]

Six months on....

I'm still angry at my body that didn't do what it was supposed to do. I won't try for another vaginal birth because of it, I just can't trust that my body will get past 9cm. Twice it had the chance and twice it failed me. I keep going back & forth thinking that I really really should try a VBA2C but I just can't have the faith in my body to get past the hurdle of 10cm.......

Oh, just remembered the other thing -

Last weekend I was talking to my sister & she was saying how my cousin (had her baby 2 weeks after me) was back in her size 10 jeans walking round the ward about 3 hours after birth.... Yeah, three hours after birth I had seen my baby for about 2 minutes, she was all wrapped up & I could only just see her face. I had a cathetar, drip, 1/2 hourly obs due to blood loss & was numb from the chest down. I still grieve for that time that I was away from my baby.

[Beach Mama]

WONDERFUL thread Sarah.... I think we really need it. Will be back when I can but thank you so much, not many people "get it" really and there are more of us out there than we think.

[{sarah}]

You're most definitely welcome Tan

[Arimeh]

Thanks for the thread Sarah - you're a gorgeous woman and i love ya!!! *mwah*

Hmm.. ok... most people know my story anyway.

C/S with DS because I didn't have the faith - or knowledge - in my own body that I would be able to do it - so took my sister's path - and chose to have an elective c/section for no medical reason.

Four months after his birth - it hit me like a brick wall that it was not the right path I had chosen. I did not bond with my son - and still to this day, have trouble connecting with him. I did not breast feed either, and didn't feel guilty - hey, I had no connection to this child, why would I feel bad?

After first C/S recovery wasn't too bad - had a horrible epidural experience first time round and then allergic reaction to the morphine made me chuck up all the time, was worried about busting my staples.

So I was SOOOOO determined not to repeat that experience. I had nothing to be scared of, never the fear that my body couldn't do it, cos I hadn't done it before.

Got pregnant when DS was 9 months old. Determined to VBAC, I lined up an excellent OB and knew my hospital was very pro-VBAC.

For some reason, DD decided to stay there, two weeks late and no sign of moving. No prelabour, no sign of anything happening whatsoever. Cord was failing, placenta was deteriorating, best to do a c/section.

I have many regrets about not trying hard enough before 42 weeks to do more of the old wives tales to try to bring on labour. I didn't give it my all to try to bring it on, thats what disappoints me. I hate the fact that I have long babies, and a short midsection, so they get lodged in my ribs and are hard to get out. I had bruising on my chest from the two doctors pushing down in surgery to try to get her out because she was stuck in there so much.

I hate the fact that I couldn't do anything for the first week after the section, I hate the fact that I got an infection in my uterus that laid me up for a month and might have ruined my chances for further pregnancies.

But I'll be damned if I'm going to be disappointed the next time. Next time, I'm getting my bloody VBAC - and thats THAT.

[{sarah}]

I have many regrets about not trying hard enough before 42 weeks to do more of the old wives tales to try to bring on labour. I didn't give it my all to try to bring it on, thats what disappoints me.

Dude () go back & read the threads from the days / weeks before Mehkelti was born. I think you've forgotten all the work you put into getting her out....

But I'll be damned if I'm going to be disappointed the next time. Next time, I'm getting my bloody VBAC - and thats THAT.

WOOHOOOOO!! Go girl

[LucaJack'sMum]

Yes Thanks Sarah

I have just been told no VBAC for me... booked in for a CS on Wednesday and some of the posts (in the VBAC section) I got in response to this were very upsetting... as if I had ANY choice in it. I am upset and frustrated at no VBAC and felt worse when 'hounded' by the very pro VBACers out there...

This thread is VERY MUCH needed... thanks for your support xx

[Nai]

I just read your other thread and you have some tough decisions . Personally I wouldn't recommend you having an epi at all given what happened with me. If I had not been able to feel what was going on I would probably have ruptured in the birthing suite instead of on the operating table.

I hope you do go into labour before Wednesday but if you don't you have done what you can to get your VBAC. I had acupuncture, DTD, ate curries and had an internal before I went into labour so they are things that you could try.

Good luck and I hope your little one arrives safe and sound!

[Arimeh]

LJM - I hope I wasn't one of the people that upset you - it was totally not my intention.

Nai - I'm glad you were able to feel everything too xxx