Divvy - I understand how much anger we can harbour over these irreversible decisions and how hard it is to feel empowered when men are making decisions for you and you are vulnerable.
I found the most helpful things were time and writing a grief/anger letter.
The letter does not have to go to anyone - and probably shouldnt - but is a way of expressing yourself and working through the pain. Start with finding a heading such as birth regrets and then let yourself gp with whatever comes out. By the end you may feel very tired and emotional but the release can be amazing. You can do this for lots of things like relationship breakdown etc. and it is equally useful.
Hope this helps a bit!