Hi Everyone

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for writing the reply to my message last month. I have just come back and re-read it and I am in such a different place now! I think I hit the 6 month mark, he started crawling, solids etc and maybe I've just moved on or perhaps seen the bigger picture. He is amazing He always was but things have changed and I've let myself really absorb it all.

I was with some girlfriends last night talking about the birth (alot of us are having babies) and I was telling them how I was in recovery and he was sent to special care and I didn't know what was happening and perhaps because of the shock & drugs I was a bit paranoid. I had kind of put it to the back of my mind but remembered that I was asking the nurses to check on my son and when they didn't come back immediately to say he was fine, I instantly thought he had died and noone wanted to tell me. Even when the reassured me I remember thinking that they just wanted the drugs to wear off before they told me (not that I told anyone this because I wanted to seem normal)...Looking back I just feel sorry for myself and the emotional upset that I had because of the birth and proceedings rather than angry at myself that I am ungrateful. All just the shock as my hospital care was amazing.

So August, you were spot on with your comment that perhaps it was the seperation that has caused my stress. Which I think it was! I guess having him in special care for the first 4 days just made it all alot worse.

So it wasn't that I didn't birth naturally that bothered me, I just couldn't pin point what it was. And literally the penny has dropped!

Does anyone know if you have and elective c-section, can you have the bubs with you in recovery?

Thanks so much again to everyone, you have helped me more than you would know.

xxx