I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for writing the reply to my message last month. I have just come back and re-read it and I am in such a different place now! I think I hit the 6 month mark, he started crawling, solids etc and maybe I've just moved on or perhaps seen the bigger picture. He is amazing He always was but things have changed and I've let myself really absorb it all.
I was with some girlfriends last night talking about the birth (alot of us are having babies) and I was telling them how I was in recovery and he was sent to special care and I didn't know what was happening and perhaps because of the shock & drugs I was a bit paranoid. I had kind of put it to the back of my mind but remembered that I was asking the nurses to check on my son and when they didn't come back immediately to say he was fine, I instantly thought he had died and noone wanted to tell me. Even when the reassured me I remember thinking that they just wanted the drugs to wear off before they told me (not that I told anyone this because I wanted to seem normal)...Looking back I just feel sorry for myself and the emotional upset that I had because of the birth and proceedings rather than angry at myself that I am ungrateful. All just the shock as my hospital care was amazing.
So August, you were spot on with your comment that perhaps it was the seperation that has caused my stress. Which I think it was! I guess having him in special care for the first 4 days just made it all alot worse.
So it wasn't that I didn't birth naturally that bothered me, I just couldn't pin point what it was. And literally the penny has dropped!
Does anyone know if you have and elective c-section, can you have the bubs with you in recovery?
Thanks so much again to everyone, you have helped me more than you would know.
Hummingbird, that is wonderful to hear that you feel you are progressing with things In regards to having bub with you in recovery, it will depend. You may need to look into getting a private midwife to be there for you as hospitals will often say you can't have bubs with you because it comes down to a staffing issue. But there have been many BB'ers that have had bubs with them in recovery, but you do have to really push for it to happen.
Hummingbird, my last pg was a c/s due to pre eclampsia at 36 +3 weeks. My whole experience was fantastic. I didn't have to push to have bubs with me in recovery they just gave her to me. That is where we had our first skin on skin time and she did the boob crawl We were able to spend as much time as we needed like that before they weighed, measured, etc,. We even had the midwives still taking photos for us. It was a very special time for DF, me and bubs that was captured on camera for us to see and enjoy later. The big thing is i went public and never had an issue with anything. Good luck
Hummingbird, I could have written your first post... just swap DS for DD.
My DH couldn't be in surgery with me so I had Mum in there instead.
Whilst the hospital I was at say they promote immediate skin to skin with the mother - bub was wrapped and placed next to me in surgery, then whisked away for skin to skin with her Daddy while I lay in recovery for an hour with the nurses talking over me (literally having a conversation across my bed and not talking to me!)
Because I had GD, bubs sugar levels were really low. After maybe 1/2 an hour on me in the ward, my DH and Mum went home, the middies came in and took bub away to Special Care for the next 6 days - where they tube fed her formula because no one spoke to me about expressing (first time mum, how was I meant to know there was a room with expressing machines that you were free to take back to your bed and use? How was I meant to know that was even encouraged/expected until someone asked me why I hadn't been?!)
I think for me, the worst part was waking up that morning. Bub was delivered at 12.23am (after a 10 hour labour resulting in emergency CS). I woke at 7am in a room by myself, with no DH/family, no baby, not pregnant... and not able to sit up from the pain (so even if I'd been aware enough, I couldn't have left my bed to go see bub).
I too, thought I had to ask to see my baby. Towards the end of my stay, I couldn't sleep one night so I got up and wandered past the nurses station and asked if I could go round in to SPN.... they gave me the strangest look for asking.
Immediately after her birth, I was fine with everything - I had a happy, healthy bub, I was ok, all was good.... Now, 2 months later, I'm starting to feel pretty gipped that I didn't get the birth I wanted for my daughter(I had planned drug free, and if I wanted drugs to gradually work my way up ... yeah, I had everything under the sun!) and that I failed my baby.
Some days are better than others... today just happens to be one of the bad ones!
I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better about your DS's delivery - let's me know that there is light at the end of the tunnel so to speak! lol
That said... she's perfect! She sleeps from 7pm til 4.30/5am most nights and sleeps/feeds really well during the day. I've got an awesome baby... I'm just upset that I couldn't give her a natural entrance into the world and that I wasn't with her for her first few hours of life.
He always was but things have changed and I've let myself really absorb it all.
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In regards to having bub with you in recovery, it will depend. You may need to look into getting a private midwife to be there for you as hospitals will often say you can't have bubs with you because it comes down to a staffing issue. But there have been many BB'ers that have had bubs with them in recovery, but you do have to really push for it to happen.
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