Hi Hummingbird,
I can relate to a couple of things you are feeling, firstly the quote. I remember it being weird saying 'giving birth' in the first few day. I would falter, because the first thing I'd go to say was 'when they took him out of me', like I really didn't have much to do with it. But you know what, I conceived him, I carried him throughout the pregnancy, and ultimatly I did give birth to him. For me that feeling really did not last too long, although it is strange to have a baby and not have had one contraction! (in a very quick nutshell, my DS had gastroschisis, was due to be induced @ 37 weeks but he was born via emergency c/s 5 days prior due to to reduced fetal movements and polyhydrosis). The second thing that I can relate to is the time spent apart in the first days due to bub being in NICU. Although I was expecting this, this was probably one of the hardest parts in hindsight. You said that you are unsure if it was the c-section, the lack of control or just that it was unexpected that is bothering you, but perhaps it is the time you had to spend apart when he was in NICU that is contributing to how you are feeling today?