Feeling conflicted, guilty and undecided about how to birth baby #2

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Aside from all of that, and back onto your initial question, have you had any time to journal about it? Write a journal entry, or a letter to your bubba, about your hopes and fears about their birth ... sometimes writing it all out helps us figure out what we're thinking ...

Here: https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...about-Liebling

I also met with a hospital midwife in my home when Liebs was 2.5 and I'd left it too late to put in a complaint, but she did agree that I had not been treated well and many things happened that shouldn't have. And the midwives had documented that I didn't want drugs and they'd kept offering them, that the monitoring showed X but the midwives ignored it to do Y and so on and so forth - the arrogance that they document their failings and don't expect to be called up on it - and they weren't because I couldn't bring myself to complain within the year.


Have you debriefed fully, Blondie? For me it was also being denied - denied my right to be treated as a human, denied my wish labour as I wished when there was no problem, denied my right not to be bullied... sounds like other people telling you what you want instead of listening to you, you had similar denials.

[Blondie]

Thanks for your support everyone

I am pretty much certain now that I will be taking the C/S option. I wrote down the pro's and con's of both options and I realised the only things that were making me think twice about C/S was the lack of support from people and also the mother / baby attachment issues that may arise from being separated momentairly from bub. I was paranoid that baby wouldn't know who I was and therefore would have issues latching, sucking etc, but then I remembered that I was rushed off to theater with DS anyway and didn't get to see him for an hour at least....apart from the first cuddle straight after delivery. So, in order to help with the issues I have decided to not tell people about how I am going to birth, I will just say "we'll see how we go" and to sort out my other fear of mother / baby attachment I have a good friend who is a Midwife who I am going to ask to be a support person and to help me establish breastfeeding.

I have also read up on exactly what will happen to me before, during and after C/S and I do feel like I am more prepared and more knowledgable about my decision....now I feel like I am going in to this experience with my eyes open and not closed.

[Three Graces]

Glad you're feeling more positive about your decision. If you go elect you should have a midwife assigned to you and have bubs in recovery with you for that first feed.
Wishing you all the best for a much better birth experience!