Peanutter, what happens when the birthing b* is ignored because the husband can be bullied and his word is "more important" - ie, he's more compliant?

There's something getting me angry on this thread, and it's no longer the friends questioning the C-section. It's this: why the blue blazes should we have to educate ourselves, fight, have people to fight for us in the hospital, be belittled, tortured, come out of "birthing" feeling abused and like we cannot ever do this again so surgery/freebirth is the only option?

This is NOT to have a go at you for feeling like this, Blondie (I feel the same, hence putting freebirth in the question above). It's having a go at the establishment who have done this to you. It's attacking the fact we accept that poor old first-time mums are going to be abused and we can't stop it, we can just try to fight it. Guess what? I tried to fight. I ended up alone and in tears, threatened with a hysterectomy if I didn't comply (as my DH would sign anything and that's consent, apparently). How is that ever OK? And why are we playing into the system by accepting it and saying how we are going to do fire-fighting at the time and most of the time it ends up with the blaze (ie the Obs/mids) getting out of control? I say we need to get rid of the rot by getting rid of the whole establishment.

I truely hate maternity "care", because as far as I see, we all acknowledge that it doesn't exist, or it's something we have to hunt high and low for.