I already feel like I am being judged.

[~StarBright~]

I am so sorry that ignorant people are being so judgemental and rude to you!!!!

I also opted very happily for a second csection after my emergency with Zahra and her not making it. I didnt hesitate for a second. I wanted my baby out ASAP.. (even begged the Drs from about 36 weeks!!!) You havent mentioned WHO exactly has been judging you- so I do want to warn you that if you havent already, you may encounter pressure from midwives to have the vbac...

I had my booking in appt with an older midwife, she read my card, saw my history and then proceeded to tell me it was in my babies best interest to go for a vbac. I replied with the fact that it was in my best interest to bring home a live baby, and I would much rather that be via c section than me stressing through hours of labour worrying about another placental abruption during labour and another angel baby...

Fast forward to me being 37 weeks and a few days and I went into labour. I got to the hospital and low and behold it was the midwife from my booking in appt. She again encouraged me to labour. I was in labour all night, and it wasnt until ANOTHER midwife came on duty early the next morning and saw me and examined me and said "Wait a minute, it says on your chart your supposed to be having a csection, if thats what we are doing we better do it soon your progressing" The other midwife came back, from a break I guess and saw them prepping me and she said "You know your only a few hours off having him, you should have just gone with it..."

So basically had the other midwife not examined me I have NO doubt that the first midwife would have basically forced me into either a VBAC or eventually an emergency csection with it being too late to do spinal etc... I was scared and trusted the people looking after me and I thought they knew what I wanted and were doing what they were supposed to be doing, I pretty much sat there all night thinking they will start everything soon....

So sorry, the point to my story.. MAKE IT CLEAR what you want, stick to what YOU WANT and dont let anyone try and sway you with guilt or horror stories!!!! And DO NOT feel bad ever, AT ALL for wanting to do what feels right for you and your DP and your baby!!!!

Oh and also, just a tip- maybe perhaps too dont be surprised if later on in your pregnancy the OB tries to push you to 38 or even 39 weeks- thats what mine did. First appt he was all "Yeah 37 weeks" then as we got closer suddenly the hospital policy changed and no csections were performed under 39 weeks, but we may be able to push it to 38.. Thank goodness my lil man must have known how much I was wanting him out coz I went into labour at 37+4 days.

It a really hard time having your next pregnancy after losing a much loved bubba, I wish you all the best and I am sending you loads of strength, courage and sanity to help you get through it xoxoxoxox

[Cranky Kitten]

Pfft to them I say - you're doing what you need to do to feel safe. Which is completely understandable in my book - wishing you nothing but the very best for a happy, healthy pregnancy and a beautifully calm and positive birth - on your terms.

I'd second being vague with anyone who doesn't really need to know, even if they ask directly. It's none of their business anyway.

[nothing2lose]

I find the words "bite me" useful in these situations.

Sheesh there are some twats out there. Regardless of whether it's your first birth or 100th birth, whether you have experienced a loss like yours or not, how you birth is YOUR business.

If people are so hung up on VBAC's, tell them to go roger themselves and have one of their own.

[Cranky Kitten]

If people are so hung up on VBAC's, tell them to go roger themselves and have one of their own.

Bwahaahahahahahaa, that's gold!

[Charlotte91]

Just wanted to send another

You're doing the right thing, don't let anyone let you think otherwise.

[Fleur]

I am gobsmacked that anyone would feel the need to comment on or question your decisions.

You do what you need to, end of story

[Razzberry]

I just think its awful that people are judging you. No one has the right to judge you, they don't understand what you have been through. I know I don't even come close to any of your heartbreak of losing my dd, but it was an incredibly stressful pregnancy where even at the end it was still up in the air if our bub would be born healthy or not. Thankfully, I had a very understanding Ob who knew that by 38 weeks I was done emotionally and one more day would not have been ok - He made the decision with me to induce that very day - and I have no regrets. Emotionally you now what you can handle and you have made informed decisions Good on you hun, I wish you all the best!