I already feel like I am being judged.

[RhiChiChi]

Damn straight it is your & your DP choice! Like you have said, you have been through a terrible ordeal with your DD and have done the research - those are all important factors when deciding what you want to do. Don't feel judged & don't feel you have to justify your decision to anyone. Best of luck!

[NaeNae]

U know what, make them feel bad and turn around and tell people, my last baby DIED while i was in labour.

I have actually said something similar (different situation to yours though) and I swear it works but not something you would use everytime. Sometimes its the quick, rudely said few words like mentioned above that really makes people think twice before they do it again

[Floweryfields]

In the end, it's nobodies business but yours. It's your body and your journey, no one can understand where you've come from or the reasons you make your choices. Tell them to mind their business!

[~StarBright~]

I am so sorry that ignorant people are being so judgemental and rude to you!!!!

I also opted very happily for a second csection after my emergency with Zahra and her not making it. I didnt hesitate for a second. I wanted my baby out ASAP.. (even begged the Drs from about 36 weeks!!!) You havent mentioned WHO exactly has been judging you- so I do want to warn you that if you havent already, you may encounter pressure from midwives to have the vbac...

I had my booking in appt with an older midwife, she read my card, saw my history and then proceeded to tell me it was in my babies best interest to go for a vbac. I replied with the fact that it was in my best interest to bring home a live baby, and I would much rather that be via c section than me stressing through hours of labour worrying about another placental abruption during labour and another angel baby...

Fast forward to me being 37 weeks and a few days and I went into labour. I got to the hospital and low and behold it was the midwife from my booking in appt. She again encouraged me to labour. I was in labour all night, and it wasnt until ANOTHER midwife came on duty early the next morning and saw me and examined me and said "Wait a minute, it says on your chart your supposed to be having a csection, if thats what we are doing we better do it soon your progressing" The other midwife came back, from a break I guess and saw them prepping me and she said "You know your only a few hours off having him, you should have just gone with it..."

So basically had the other midwife not examined me I have NO doubt that the first midwife would have basically forced me into either a VBAC or eventually an emergency csection with it being too late to do spinal etc... I was scared and trusted the people looking after me and I thought they knew what I wanted and were doing what they were supposed to be doing, I pretty much sat there all night thinking they will start everything soon....

So sorry, the point to my story.. MAKE IT CLEAR what you want, stick to what YOU WANT and dont let anyone try and sway you with guilt or horror stories!!!! And DO NOT feel bad ever, AT ALL for wanting to do what feels right for you and your DP and your baby!!!!

Oh and also, just a tip- maybe perhaps too dont be surprised if later on in your pregnancy the OB tries to push you to 38 or even 39 weeks- thats what mine did. First appt he was all "Yeah 37 weeks" then as we got closer suddenly the hospital policy changed and no csections were performed under 39 weeks, but we may be able to push it to 38.. Thank goodness my lil man must have known how much I was wanting him out coz I went into labour at 37+4 days.

It a really hard time having your next pregnancy after losing a much loved bubba, I wish you all the best and I am sending you loads of strength, courage and sanity to help you get through it xoxoxoxox

[Cranky Kitten]

Pfft to them I say - you're doing what you need to do to feel safe. Which is completely understandable in my book - wishing you nothing but the very best for a happy, healthy pregnancy and a beautifully calm and positive birth - on your terms.

I'd second being vague with anyone who doesn't really need to know, even if they ask directly. It's none of their business anyway.

[nothing2lose]

I find the words "bite me" useful in these situations.

Sheesh there are some twats out there. Regardless of whether it's your first birth or 100th birth, whether you have experienced a loss like yours or not, how you birth is YOUR business.

If people are so hung up on VBAC's, tell them to go roger themselves and have one of their own.

[Razzberry]

I just think its awful that people are judging you. No one has the right to judge you, they don't understand what you have been through. I know I don't even come close to any of your heartbreak of losing my dd, but it was an incredibly stressful pregnancy where even at the end it was still up in the air if our bub would be born healthy or not. Thankfully, I had a very understanding Ob who knew that by 38 weeks I was done emotionally and one more day would not have been ok - He made the decision with me to induce that very day - and I have no regrets. Emotionally you now what you can handle and you have made informed decisions Good on you hun, I wish you all the best!

[Cranky Kitten]

If people are so hung up on VBAC's, tell them to go roger themselves and have one of their own.

Bwahaahahahahahaa, that's gold!

[Charlotte91]

Just wanted to send another

You're doing the right thing, don't let anyone let you think otherwise.

[Fleur]

I am gobsmacked that anyone would feel the need to comment on or question your decisions.

You do what you need to, end of story

[Liviam]

Hun you have hit the nail on the head - you and your DF have picked the decison that is best for you both and your baby!! Good on you hun!! Tell everyone to bite your a$$ and mind their own business.

[Epacris]

Strength, warmth, love and support for you and your birth from me.

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

Hun, I don't see how it's anyone else's business, you have to do what makes you comfortable.


---
- Sent from my iPhone, more than likely while I should be doing something else!

[aussienic]

I remember sitting at a family dinner with Dh's family and 2 of his cousins are nurses. I had not long had my 2nd child by C/s (first was VB) I commented that I would be having any further children my C/s boy did the comments come thick and fast then . I say ignore them. you need to do what is right for you and your family.

and for the record I had my last 3 children by C/s and while I was prepared for the last 2 they were lovely and relaxed. We knew what was going to happen ..

Good luck with your Pregnancy

[Marlene]

Oh hun, I think I would make the exact same decision! I don't think that anybody has the right to judge you...especially anyone that hasn't been through what you have.

[starangelk]

Stand by your decision Hun, I totally support you Xx

[Beautiful Disaster]

Have the people judging you been in your shoes? Did they have an emergebcy cs under GA? Have they held their dead baby in their arms? Did they go home with empty arms? Do they want to try that on, even for just one day? I bet they havent and I bet they dont.

I cant believe you're dealing with this already. I have no idea what we'll do, if we ever get that far again but there's no way in hell I'm going to 40 weeks. I will do what's best for me, the baby and my DH. Mental health is a huge part of handling subsequent pregnancies and births. If a scheduled cs means who dont lose your mind and you take home a living child, then that's a wonderful, empowered birth for you.

People are entitled to an opinion. In this case, they should exercise the option of keeping their ill-informed opinions to themselves.

I was just trying to word this right and Tashy has said it perfectly. Tell them to bugger off.

[beckoes]

i dont see how its any one elses place to judge your choices. if this is what you guys feel is best for your family, then those people who question deserve to be put in thier place!! wishing you a happy, healthy and judgement free pregnancy!!