My Caesarean Scar says...

[indie24]

My c/s scar says to me... this is DD's entry portal to the world. It also says that not everyone has the same birth story. You do the best with what you have at the time.

[forshelby]

Do you know one thing that really peeves me?? When words and statements like "failure", "unnatural" and "didn't give birth" find their way into discussions about caesarean births. We should be proud. To be anything else is, in my opinion, doing all of us a disservice.

So............... I should be proud that I was failed by my care providers? I should be proud that they were so eager to butcher me? I should be proud that I didn't stand up for myself? I'm sorry, but THAT statement irritates me. If I'm doing myself a disservice by feeling ripped off, then so be it. What about the coma? Should I be proud of that too? The fact that I was unable to care for my newborn son in any way for nearly a week after his birth? How about the fact that I was too drugged to even cry when I saw him for the first time?

The truth is, I do feel like a failure. I did not give birth. Yes my baby was birthed, but not by me. It IS unnatural to pump a woman full of drugs to get her uterus to contract, then to slice her open because she's taking too long to dialate. I can't think of anything more unnatural than that. In the cases where c/s is neccesary, then of course these women would be grateful, and at peace with their birth experience. I am not.

And you know what? I'll feel how I want!

[MummaSue]

I love my scar. It's actually healed so well that it's two tiny little lines now.

My scar doesn't say anything. But I say to my scar "thank goodness I live in a day and age where there is medical intervention otherwise neither me nor my baby would be here today".

[nothing2lose]

Forshelby, you have quoted me out of context. But yes, I think you should feel proud that you endured and survived what you did to bring your baby earthside.

[Janie71]

I am saddened by all the people who feel like they failed their birth .... I dont want to direspect those feelings, they are valid.. its just sad.

For those who feel like they failed... I say you didnt. Your baby is here. You still birthed, although maybe not perfectly in your eyes, or your heart, but perfect none the less because your baby is here.

For those like me whose baby isn't here (even after an emergency c section due to placental abruption) we didnt fail either. Life just really sux sometimes. But there is no pass or fail, just the journey to how we get where we are going

Sorry if I have offended anyone, I have wanted to say something sicne this thread started, but I just wasnt sure how.

Beautifully put Starbright. I agree with your sentiments and have also wanted to say something, but couldn't figure out the right way to say it without unintentionally insulting people. I too feel sad that there are women who feel like they failed, but I do think they are valid feelings.

Janie xxx

[forshelby]

N2L could you clarify please? I keep re reading but can't work out how I was meant to receive your statements. Hmmm. probably my fault.

I don't really feel proud of what I endured. I don't know what I feel, but it isn't pride. I feel kind of ashamed and violated. Precious moments with DS were lost forever, and that just sucks. Of course mine wasn't a routine delivery, so my emotions may differ from others. I hope one day I can be proud. I am however proud of the strength I found within myself to stay focussed on DS and my ability to retain my emotional health.

[Just Me]

I don't really feel proud of what I endured. I don't know what I feel, but it isn't pride. I feel kind of ashamed and violated. Precious moments with DS were lost forever, and that just sucks. Of course mine wasn't a routine delivery, so my emotions may differ from others. I hope one day I can be proud. I am however proud of the strength I found within myself to stay focussed on DS and my ability to retain my emotional health.

[BeautifulMadness]

mine says

my boy was too impaitent to met us and remind of the feelings i had towards him and i feel like i need to make that up

[ElleJay]

N2L could you clarify please? I keep re reading but can't work out how I was meant to receive your statements. Hmmm. probably my fault.

I don't really feel proud of what I endured. I don't know what I feel, but it isn't pride. I feel kind of ashamed and violated. Precious moments with DS were lost forever, and that just sucks. Of course mine wasn't a routine delivery, so my emotions may differ from others. I hope one day I can be proud. I am however proud of the strength I found within myself to stay focussed on DS and my ability to retain my emotional health.

and lots more from me forshelby

Adding to mine :I still have the 'I can't birth my child/ren naturally and that sucks and I feel like I've failed' moments, but know I can't blame myself because I needed my c-section which saved my sons life (and mine in a sense) and will be having an elective c-section for this bubba because, again, I can not medically give birth naturally.. But now I know what goes on when having a c-section, I'll feel better bout it

[Purple Penguin]

for everyone! Forshelby, lots of for you, you have every right to feel however you like and no one can tell you that you shouldn't.

I have been reading through these since the thread started and working out what my scars say. I too feel like I failed, somedays are worse that others.

The first scar says 'you tried but the interference of intervention spiralled and you failed'

The second one says 'you were to scared to try again.'

but in saying that, they both also say that I have two happy healthy girls brought into the world the best way I knew how.

[Just Me]

for everyone! Forshelby, lots of for you, you have every right to feel however you like and no one can tell you that you shouldn't.

I have been reading through these since the thread started and working out what my scars say. I too feel like I failed, somedays are worse that others.

The first scar says 'you tried but the interference of intervention spiralled and you failed'

The second one says 'you were to scared to try again.'

but in saying that, they both also say that I have two happy healthy girls brought into the world the best way I knew how.

PP.

[Purple Penguin]

Thank you JM

[Jakabella]

My c-sect scar says " you have a wonderfully happy, healthy and beautiful Daughter"
Just as my 3rd degree VB tear says " you have a wonderfully happy, healthy and hansom Son"

[Miss E]

I actually quite like my scar these days. Yes, in the early days it said 'your body let you down'...

But these days it says 'you've got a beautiful, happy, healthy little boy and you're here to enjoy him because of this scar'.

[Me+him+bub]

mine currently says " I will remain only a scar and not become another incision in 14 weeks time"

[Nai]

to all of you who need them when thinking about your scar.

My c/s scar says "hello" every morning and is like a little smile on my belly - saying this belly grew 2 gorgeous girls and they needed to come out here to grow up in the world.

[Charlotte91]

Thinking of it looking like a smile.....

I got out of the shower one day and DP looks at me and stares. So I asked 'what'. And he goes ... ." You look like a face!" "What?"

And he says .... "Your boobs are the eyes, your belly button is the nose and your c/s scar is the mouth!!"

And then adds while laughing uncontrollably "Your pubes are the goatie!!!"

[Jellybean29]

... That I am a strong, brave woman who put my babies life before my own and agreed to go under the knife to get him out safely.

To me its a sign of a selfless act of love for my baby