What are the reasons for separation after c/s?

[christy]

I had an emergency c/s in 2004. My DD was put into my arms before I could move them properly while I was in theatre still. She came to recovery and they put her on my chest once we were there, the midwife had her on my breast within 30 minutes of birth. She did not leave my bed. DH was sent out while I was in recovery but DD stayed with me. Even when everyone left & we were left to rest, she was left in my bed.

I had specifically requested beforehand that I wanted her to be with me as long as she was healthy no matter what and they complied with that.

[CrystalBoo]

I had an EC with DD. She was on my chest while I was being stitched up and held by DH when I couldn't hold her anymore (I had the anesthetic shakes) Then straight back on to me while DH and I were both in recovery. She was feeding (and pooing) on me within half an hour I'd say, before I left recovery, for sure.
I had no idea it was any different in other places. I would be putting my foot down if I were you. I can't think of any reason, other than immediate health problems, that should stop your baby being with you straight away.

[Megan]

DD, you brought up one of my biggest issues. I've definitely thought about the family thing too. To the point that we probably will not tell family I am going in for a c/s. If they do happen to know, they are not welcome at the hospital until well after he is born we are settled and have had our own time in the ward. After all, we would have had that special time after VB in the delivery suite, and I don't want to miss out on that because of a c/s.

It's good to hear that it does happen - you can get that time with your baby after a c/s, but I get the impression I am going to have a fight on my hands. Another reason I want to breastfeed straight away is that I have GD, and if bub has low blood sugar and they wont let him in recovery with me then what will they do? feed him formula? that's a big no no and why he needs that colostrum as soon as possible.

[Indadhanu]

I think that sounds like the best idea (no to tell family) becaues they'll be lining up at the hospital waiting in your room for you when you come from recovery and just being downright annoying. And if bubs is taken back to the room while you are in recovery there is a chance they'll have cuddles before you... thats something that would have made me explode... so yeah I'd just hold off and tell them afterwards. Let it be a surprise You can let them know after the birth if/when you want them there.

Ok so the scenario you described is what happened to us. Mine was an unplanned c/s, and after a quick nuzzle Shel and Jazz were gone before I even knew, and back up to the room while I waited in recovery for close to 2 hours.

I have been pretty upset about this, I lost that time with my new baby, and it did have an effect on PND. BUT it wasn't all negative - Shel had skin to skin with Jazz until I got there, which was great for their bonding, and at least my little babe got that contact. Our first breastfeed was 2 hours after birth, and yes even though there was that and the c/s our bfing relationship is fine, 7.5 months on and still going great so it isn't the be all end all. It sometimes upsets me still that I lost that time, but ... I try to think of it as 2 hours... 2 hours out of her whole life... the longer I dwell on that, the less time I am spending with her right now KWIM? They say its the most special and magical time, and yeah, it is, but then... it all is So if worst comes to it and you aren't allowed bub in recovery, its ok It might be disappointing, but you'll have so much time the rest of their life (or at least childhood LOL), try not to dwell too much on those first two hours.

As for the colostrum. Ok. Are you able to express some now? If you start trying now you could be able to take it to the hospital so that if bubs blood sugar falls and you aren't there they can give him your colostrum rather than formula? Your partner could feed the colostrum too?

[DaintreeDream]

I am not sure what they do in the avent that baby needs to be fed as my DD was in NICU and wasn't given colostrum until on day 2, this was her first feed, she never had formula, they came to me and asked if I was planning on BF and asked me to express some colostum for them. Until then they hadn't even spoke to me about expressing/BF - I didn't know what I was meant to do .

I think that you need to express all of these feelings with your ob, I know where you are coming from and it is so very distressing, I cannot believe that these days they are able to take you baby and those precious moments away from you, it makes me so angry.

Write it all down you may forget all of your points once you are there, I think you will have more chance if you are passionate and have the alot of good reasoning to support you (which I really agree, you do )

As for the family, I had my parents and MIL waiting for us. I asked where they would wait and was told 'in my room', I asked were would DH and baby wait 'in my room' Ahhh, NO! - I made my family wait down 5 levels in the ground floor cafe , just in case they may by any chance get a peep before I came back, if that was to happen. I told them either DH would come and get them or call once they were allowed to come up! I wanted DH and I to introduce our DD as a couple also.... it wasn't just about the bonding and cuddles, it was my parents first grandDAUGHTER and I wanted to be there to see them meet.

Best of luck hun.

[Megan]

Thanks girls for your suggestions. It definitely helps to get different perspectives and I need to try and come to terms with what may happen before it actually happens IYKWIM. It's just the way I am, and after taking over 4 years to get to the point of having our baby I have been having trouble dealing with the fact that once again I have no control over anything.

Leasha, I have spoken to an ABA counsellor about expressing, so it is definitely something I am going to try in a couple of weeks. When I mentioned it to the midwife however, she was horrified that I would be expressing before giving birth. I had it on my birth plan and her words were "well NO, you WON'T be expressing before birth". I told her about the information I had been given from the ABA and she didn't say anything more. I have an electric pump so will give it a go soon. I just hope I can get some! I've had no leaking or sign of colostrum so far. The point you made about PND is something I am concerned about as well since I already have risk factors due to LTTTC/IVF etc. I feel depressed just thinking about it now, and need to get my head around it beforehand and try to make the best of a not so ideal situation.

DD, I have been discussing the grandparent thing with DH today. He actually suggested we wouldn't tell his mother until after he is born and we are ready for visitors (she only lives 5mins from the hospital and will be banging down the door despite our requests, because she's already said she has to be the first to see him). As for my mum, she's a couple of hours away so if she promises to respect our wishes and just stay at our house until DH calls her, I will let her know when we are going in. No one else will know - because another reason is I won't get any peace and quiet the night before because of phone calls!!

I'm going to relax for the weekend and then think about it a bit more when we know what we're dealing with after Monday's ultrasound. I just have to chill out and try and let go of some of these control issues I have!!

[cocobambino]

I was never seperated from my baby, she was checked out, wrapped up and handed to her daddy while i was stitched up the handed to me and i was wheeled to my room within an hour post op

[Salsa]

I was told that in the case of a c.section that I would not have baby with me in recovery and I freaked out and asked why. They said because the recovery had other woman in there (shared ward not private rm like when i had my first c.sect), some of whom might have lost babies. To be fair to them they didnt let anyone have baby in with them. SHe also said that the staff in recovery were not midwives....

It upset me so much. Fortunate for me and DS I did not have a c.section.

[nicjay]

Another reason I want to breastfeed straight away is that I have GD, and if bub has low blood sugar and they wont let him in recovery with me then what will they do? feed him formula? that's a big no no and why he needs that colostrum as soon as possible.

Hi Megan,

I'm diabetic and my DD had low blood sugars after birth - but she didn't get them for a couple of days. I can't remember the exact reason why (baby brain!) but they are usually born with good BSLs which gradually decrease over the first couple of days. So I guess what I am trying to say is don't let them use the BSLs to separate you immediately. And BTW, what we did is stay together during those couple of days and I took DD back to NICU for feeds and they checked her BSL then. We were initially separated for a bit, but that was for breathing issues not BSL issues even though they were checking them. Hope this makes sense?!

And about the colostrum, I'd be really surprised if you don't have any now even if you aren't leaking. I'm 20 weeks and can express a little already. I'm no expert but I'd talk to the ABA and maybe consider starting to try to express a little now, expressing is a learned thing and believe me I became very familiar with a breast pump LOL

Good luck and HTH