Sirenz, I'm sorry to hear about your anxiety attacks and agraphobia.

There are a few of us at the moment on BB that are suffering anxiety disorders whilst being pregnant. A few of us have chosen to medicate, and a few of us haven't chosen medication, all for different reasons. You can read about it in the anxiety and depression forum here on BB.

I just want to share with you that I too wanted to remain medication free for my baby, and I have left medicating till now, and I dearly wished I hadn't. I now can see that the affect of my anxiety on my body and subsequently the baby carries much more of a risk than the medication would have. I had a lot of pressure put on me by both perinatal phsycharists and OBs at the hospital and also my GP to take the medication, but I refused. I am now seeing the consenquences of that by being so close to having the baby but not feeling overly stable either. I wished by this stage I had been on medication and it had kicked in by now and I could be enjoying the end of my pregnancy, and having much less of a risk of PND again.

For me, the opposite is true. I have a real fear of needing a c-section and there is a possibility that I will need one in my case. I have had uterine surgery before and it was dodge so they are concerned about the internal scar being compromised, and also I am apparently having a huge baby but I am a small person. Either reason for me isn't good enough as yet to have a c-section. I have been through natural/vaginal birth twice before and had surgery as well in that area, and the birthing (even without drugs) for me was much much easier to cope with than recovering from the uterine surgery. I think having a really good look into both sides of the coin regarding childbirth is best. You may not cope as well with surgery as you think, it's a major operation and carries many risks in itself to you and your baby. There are situations in vaginal birth too that can be hard to cope with, and the 'unknown' factor of it.

There is a section here with many birth stories in it done by BB members, of both a c-section (some elective) and vaginal births. It gives you a good idea of both experiences. That might help you also making your decision.

I really can sympathize with the anxiety and phobias you are having, it's really rotten to have them in pregnancy. All I will say is don't underestimate yourself either, anxiety makes you do that, makes you feel way less strong than what you are. I have been getting a lot of counselling through the perinatal unit in my state which helps heaps and I encourage you that if you aren't already, to maybe ask about that and you can discuss all this with them as well. They are trained in helping you cope through pregnancy and when the baby is born, to cope with any and all situations that arise. It's really helped me and I think i would have gone totally crazy by now without it.

Good luck hun.