Sorry people were so judgemental of you, Jodie! It's not very well known about, but I also know of someone whose milk just did not come in after she gave birth.
As for women being honest about pain in VB, it's not about honesty, it's about personal experience! I did not have what others describe as pain, let alone any stitches or tearing (I had minor grazing only), so that's my honest recounting of my own experience, and I know others who are the same. Don't worry, I also know of plenty of women who were scared and ended up experiencing loads of pain and tearing/stitches etc. Mine was also a first time birth, so it's not a popular experience to talk about with other women who have 'been there, done that' and had nowhere near as nice an experience. For me, it was what I made it - I know people with higher risk don't have the luxury of 'making of it' what they want from it. But we're talking physical risk, not psychological risk (age, pre-eclampsia, etc).
Research, research, research, is all I can stress! Do your homework and you WILL feel more in control, even if something happens that is out of your 'control', at least you will know what is happening