thanks everyone for your replies, it was very interesting to see each point of view.

It is extremely hard for me not being on my meds because i am now finding it harder to leave the house. My condition is pretty common, but not many people understand unless they have experienced it in some way themselves.

An anxiety attack to me feels like i am about to die, i can't breathe, i hyperventilate and i get extremely dizzy and throw up, and basically i fear the worse will happen. I just feel that experiencing these symptoms during labour is going to be worse for the baby and for me. I know for a fact that i will still have these symptoms wether i choose c/s or vb, but i feel that if i choose c/s the anxiety will be relieved faster than say if i was in labour for 30 hours iykwim.

one time i had a panic attack that lasted 2 days, eventually my dh couldn't take it any more and he carted me off to the psyc ward and i have been forever thankful for him saving my life that day, as i couldn't handle it anymore and thats when they put me on medication (zoloft). I had suffered with this condition for 10 years without getting help and in the end it all became too much.

I guess what i am trying to say is that i know for a fact i won't be able to handle the 'unknown" factor of birth and i feel it is safer for me and my baby to opt for c/s. I know it sounds like the easy way out, but believe me, none of this is going to be easy for me no matter what i choose.