It sounds like she isn't ready. I was going to suggest you hanging around for 30-60 minutes then leaving, but you've already tried that. It's hard for the little ones when they're only going 1 day a week as it takes a long time for them to adjust.
If she was crying only when you initially left, then I would suggest you giving it a few weeks to see how things go, but if she's crying all, or most of the day, then I would pull her out.
Big hugs PP. That is really hard. But don't feel bad for crying. Believe me, we all do it - nothing to be embarrassed there.
The thing is that she's at the age where change is really hard. And if I remember, it's just one day a week, and they usually take longer to settle in one day a week (it's such a long time between day care days at that age). So you would expect it to take her a while to settle. It might be that day care won't ever suit her, but it's more likely that she will get used to it - it's just a matter of how long it takes.
You have some choices and you probably need to weigh up all the pros and cons. Can you cope until she settles in? Will you feel better once she has? What are benefits of persisting? How will you cope with no "DD1" free days when baby is born if you pull her out? How will she cope with you needing to give DS time if she doesn't have a day to herself? There are so many things to consider. One option might be to increase her to 2 days a week in the short term to see if she settles more quickly. Otherwise you need to look into your heart and decide, bearing in mind that things will change when the baby arrives.
GL hun, it is not an easy one. And I dare say pg hormones don't help at all either.
A good suggestion MR bought up was putting her in CC 2 days a week? Nina intially used to go to daycare 3 days a week while I worked, and when I finished work when pg, I dropped her down to 1 day week. When Emily arrived, I found I needed that 2nd day to get things in order. So she's now back to 2 days a week, and that's how she'll be staying.
Thanks mantaray :hugs:
I have thought over the 2 days a week but it is hard enough to afford 1 day a week atm now that i am not working.
All the reasons you listed were reasons for me doing so - a day for myself, a day for herself without bub#2 around etc. It just feels wrong though - you know when you dont get that feeling.
i am looking in to playground australia and perhaps getting her to a playgroup (at the moment we have mothers group 1 day a week) but i like the idea of organised play and doing this 1 days a week with her. It will be easier when #2 is a baby and not moving around as i can keep #2 in a sling or carrier and have DD play with other children this way perhaps until she is a little oldeR?
This probably has come up before, but have you considered Family Daycare instead? She may be more suited to it. Also you might be able to do 2 half days, which might be easier on her.
I remember it taking a while for DD1 to get used to care and I was just using occasional care at about 9 months so I could go to appointments. What helped was having her babysat by a friend who I visited a lot, so she was used to the person and the place. She still got upset, but it helped to ease her into time away from me. Once she got better at that she was able to do a short day (9-3.30) at childcare when she turned 1. Also by that time DH had been having her by himself for 3-4 hours, even with him she still missed me. Now at 3 she asks to go to childcare, but that could be due to me being a bit of a grumpy bum at the moment
Astrid - yes i have looked in to family day care., There is on in my area but i am a little miffed that they will not let me meet the carer unless i pay a joining fee up front.
I dont really leave her anywhere. DH had her 2 days a week when i worked (weekends) and she was never fussed or cried.
It really isnt a matter of needing a babysitter though
PP: I trialed my DS2 in day care later last year as he starts school next year but it didn't go so well and was 4 at the time.. I was also pregnant and I stood out the fron bawling while Dh took him in. I don't cope well with separation... so don't feel bad about crying.. I also saw a mum who looked as though she was on her way to work. She came out the car sat down and bawled.. So I think we all do it.. or at least most of us
If it is just for the socail side of things I would try playgroup.. I personally don't like playgroup. I just feel like I don't belong but I know they are a great place to have fun...
PP you may find that in a few months she is ready and you can try again. It's a big change for her and she still needs you. She is probably more aware of the baby coming than she lets on and is clinging to you for extra security.
Have you tried an occasional care centre? I wouldn't try it until she's a bit more over this experience, but your local council should be able to point you in the direction of your closest centre. You pay for the hours you use it, but it isn't a regular 'day' (in fact, it's usually just a few hours) and it might give you the break you need without her needing to last all day without you. You ring them a day or so beforehand and let them know you'd like to come, so if she isn't well you don't have to forfeit a day you've already paid for either.
You poor thing. Sounds like she needs her mummy. I think you did the right thing deciding to take her out. Don't worry I wouldn't have handled it either.
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You poor thing. Sounds like she needs her mummy. I think you did the right thing deciding to take her out. Don't worry I wouldn't have handled it either.
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