My daughter Matilda had silent reflux. As a newborn she would scream for 6-8 hours daily. I was told she is "difficult, unsettled" and that I needed to teach her to sleep properly. I was told that as long as she was gaining weight not to do anything more. She was medicated at 6 weeks due to large burns down her oesophagus. I was told when she kept having difficulties with sleeping that she needed to learn to sleep...

At 6 months I introduced solids and found things improved. At 9 months she started walking & I introduced dairy products. At 9.5 months she started having ear infections. She had 6 in the next 6 months, she had tonsilitis 3 times before she was 12 months. She lost weight.

I was told it was due to starting child care & I pulled her out, I was told the weight loss was due to her walking and being active. I was told her tantrums were normal for a 9 month old. I was told that it didn't matter that she hadn't had a formed poo yet.

At 13 months I took her to the GP concerned about her poo and her weight loss. I was told that she didn't have reflux anymore and to keep her on her formula and not try cows milk whole until she was 18 months, keep up the cheese & yoghurt. I wasn't convinced and asked them to investigate further.

A full blood test was done with a urinalysis and lactose intolerance test. They all came back fine (knowing now what I do about lactose intolerance I want to say of course....).

Everytime I tried small amounts of cows milk in a cup for the next year she would have diarrhoea for 2 days afterwards. Her behaviour was atrocious. We started seeing a child psychologist to help us work with her and her self harm tantrums that occurred daily. Her sleep... she still didn't sleep. She didn't gain weight well, she rarely ate food.

I had Jovie when Matilda was 2 1/2. When Jovie was diagnosed with reflux and had breast refusal I saw a lactation consultant because last time I went to formula on direction from the GP & this time I wanted to breastfeed. The LC asked a few questions and said "this baby is allergic to cows milk" Get off dairy. I looked into it more and yep Jovie is allergic. As Jovie got older and I trialled milk and soy (she's more allergic to soy) she didn't every "recover" or "grow out" of it. I then made an appointment for an allergist. At the allergist he said "yep she's allergic" to Jovie & then started asking questions about Matilda (who was having a tantrum because she wasn't allowed to climb out the window). He ran heaps of tests on Matilda.

Matilda is severely allergic to cows milk. She still struggles with reflux.

My story goes on and there is much more wrong with Matilda... but I just want to say to listen to your heart. Listen when you don't have someone medical listen to you, make sure you find someone to help you. You are not alone and you are not wrong in wanting answers for your screaming babies.

Reflux is awful... horrible.... its not just a chuck here or there, its not just a bit of unsettled behaviour. It changes families.