Attention: TTC'ers looking for a laugh! tee hee....

**Shanti** · February 24th, 2008, 06:55 PM

Quite often when it comes to 'trying to conceive'.... ah the lovely 3 words.... it is quite often associated with 'frustration', 'annoyance', 'why not me' feelings, 'anger', 'sadness', 'disappointments' and well, a whole lot more things we feel that we just wish we didn't need to go through at all when all we want is to conceive a much deserved healthy baby. And after all, it's our 'birth right' to conceive a baby isn't it?

For those TTC'ers like me, looking for a good belly laugh.... I thought I'd start this!
If you want to add to the list, then go right ahead!!! May aswell have something to laugh about right? After all, whilst we're waiting to experience the joys of pregnancy for the first or 2nd or 3rd or whatever time.... we may aswell have some fun of our own....

YOU KNOW YOU'RE TRYING TO CONCEIVE WHEN .........

* You think you might wet your pants every morning because you can't go to the bathroom until your thermometer beeps!

* You are begging your DH to dtd with you!!! tee hee (normallly other way around)

* After dtd, you lay on your back and ask your partner to shove a pillow under your bum!

* Someone asks you what day of your cycle it is and you automatically quickly reply with 'cycle day 16'

* The two weeks wait is the longest 2 weeks OF YOUR LIFE

* You open the bathroom cupboard and all you can see if HPTs, OKPs & tampons!!

* You glare at every pregnant woman that walks past you.... (and they notice!)

* You start talking or emailing to your non-forum friends and use abbreviations like "ttc", "AF", "CM", "BBs" and they look at you as they have no friggen idea what you are talking about....

* You buy every possible known fertility book around.....

* You buy baby clothes even though you aren't even pregnant yet....

* You start speaking in mysterious tongues; BD DPO TTC EWCM

* You want to draw a coverline over stock market graphs in the financial page

* When you travel, you may forget your toothbrush, but your BBT is always the first thing packed

* At any given time, you know what your EDD would be if you got pg that month.

* You're taking an odd interest in what's in your panties

* You think every tingle means you are pg....in grown hair, hang nail, stuffy nose...etc

* Before making an omelet you look somewhat wistfully at the egg white

* Your husband says ?cervical mucous? with natural candor and confidence

* You don't know the date, but you know your CD or how many DPO's you are.

* Your boobs are sore because you're always touching them to see if they are sore as a sign of pregnancy.

* You bolt off to the loo when you have an inkling that some CM may have made an appearance for an inspection and analysis. Doesn't matter when and where you are cos it may be the only bit you get and it's got to be analysed while it is fresh.

* On some days each month your DH sneaks into the house really quietly so that he can at least drop his keys before you jump him.

* You know your DH is dedicated to the TTC idea when he walks out onto the patio, inspects the hanging pots and yells out...."I've got full ferning out here QUICK QUICK lets get busy!!!"

C'mon girls, let's think of some more!!!!

**Cricket** · February 25th, 2008, 12:29 AM

He he he!
I found these online a while ago, and posted them on BB then, but it's been quite a while, so here they are again.

Top 10 Signs You?re Trying to Conceive:
10) You start speaking in mysterious tongues; BD DPO TTC EWCM
9) You want to draw a coverline over stock market graphs in the financial page
8)When you travel, you may forget your toothbrush, but your BBT is always the first thing packed
7) At any given time, you know what your EDD would be if you got pg that month.
6) You're taking an odd interest in what's in your panties
5) You think every tingle means you are pg....in grown hair, hang nail, stuffy nose...etc
4) Before making an omelet you look somewhat wistfully at the egg white
3) Your husband says ?cervical mucous? with natural candor and confidence
2) You don't know the date, but you know your CD or how many DPO's you are.
1) Your boobs are sore because you're always touching them to see if they are sore as a sign of pregnancy.

**~Raven~** · February 25th, 2008, 04:35 AM

hehehehehe!

I can add one to that that used to crack up DH.

~ You bolt off to the loo when you have an inkling that some CM may have made an appearance for an inspection and analysis. Doesn't matter when and where you are cos it may be the only bit you get and it's got to be analysed while it is fresh

**Shanti** · February 25th, 2008, 05:20 AM

Ha! Ha! They're great girls!!!

The one about the sharemarket is funny cos the other day DH says to me "you're graph looks like the sharemarket at the moment"

it was so funny!!!

tee hee i like the one about where you forget your toothbrush but always remember the BBT! lol

**Muppity** · February 25th, 2008, 05:31 AM

LOL about the stock market one too

**myson** · February 25th, 2008, 04:34 PM

Very funny girls

But I have one to add. You know your DH is dedicated to the TTC idea when he walks out onto the patio, inspects the hanging pots and yells out...."I've got full ferning out here QUICK QUICK lets get busy!!!"

**~ Mylitta ~** · February 25th, 2008, 05:43 PM

~*~ You get worried every time you cough or sneeze during the tww due to an irrational fear that it might make your "maybe" baby fall out... (or maybe that's just me?! LOL!)

* You buy baby clothes even though you aren't even pregnant yet....

Shhhhhh! My fiance doesn't know about the stash of baby gear in my camphor chest!!

**Shanti** · February 25th, 2008, 05:54 PM

haha! Krystie.... that's funny re: sneezing etc

Myson - what a crack up! the ferning

!! thats something my DH would say!! haha

What about these!!!

* you touch your breasts more than your partner does!!!

* You feel this is the month, every month haha

* You plan your week around your schedule for sex

* You tell people 'hey, i'm relaxed, reeeeally relaxed' when in reality you're FAR FROM IT!!!!! arrrgh! tee hee

**ElleJay** · February 25th, 2008, 10:21 PM

LMAO! :laugh: this is making me laugh! I do agree about the one with pushing a pillow up behind your butt! Though DF still asks me why I'm putting a pillow under my butt! Hahahaha!

When i think of one, I'll post it :P

**Indadhanu** · February 26th, 2008, 05:47 AM

Maybe this one is just me but...

If you are at the end of the TWW and you don't like the temp you just got, you keep taking it in the hope that it'll change to reflect that you may, in fact, be pregnant!! LOL! There were some days where I'd take it 300 times in the hope the first 299 were wrong LOL!

This one is probably just for the ACers...
When you first start AC you are obsessive about making sure that you are presentable 'down there', and touch up before each appointment... after a few months, you get to the stage where you remember you haven't shaved in a week just as you're getting undressed in the room!!!!

**Georgi** · February 26th, 2008, 07:01 AM

Very funny Ren...This thread is a good laugh...

What got me was when I was 'putting it on' DH and he asks "Have you got mucus?" Damn... is it that obvious.

**puppies** · February 26th, 2008, 12:21 PM

Seriously hilarious! thanks for that thread, I needed a good laugh!

I like these ones:
- You remove all your DH briefs and replace them with silk, loose fitting boxers.
- You read the leaflet that comes with any medicine or pain killers.
- If you do the BD in the morning before you get up, you stay in bed nice and quiet for a while even if your busting for a pee!
- You put undies on under your jarmies after you do the BD, so good stuff doesn't falls out too far.
- You get really annoyed if DH wants to put good stuff somewhere else, you think 'what a waste!'.
- If you suspect DH is taking care of himself you get annoyed at the wastage
(sorry those two are probably a bit gross).
- You have people over or your at someone else's place and you know your ovulating, so you try and sneek your DH for a quicky in the bathroom.
- You spend most of you day googling and reading forums instead of doing your work!

Ok thI guess my concious is getting the better of me...better get back to work!

**klee** · February 26th, 2008, 03:23 PM

ren - these are funny, thanks for the laugh
okay this is another one for the end of the tww and one i remember doing, even when af comes you still do a pg test cause your almost certain its not af, even though its in full flow (LOL ok so sorry if no one else has done this, *goes and sulks in the corner*)

**{sarah}** · February 26th, 2008, 03:46 PM

* You don't buy any new clothes because you're going to be pregnant soon & they won't fit.

* You buy clothes only that can double as maternity clothes, baby doll tops, longer styles etc.

* When O refers to ovulation not orgasm!

* It's quite normal buy both HPTs and tampons at the same time.

* You make a mental note of what day of your cycle it is before you say "ok" to a drink.

**dusty** · February 26th, 2008, 04:50 PM

* It's quite normal buy both HPTs and tampons at the same time.

sarah Yes!!! the irony of not wanting to tempt fate by not buying tampons, and the feeling that of course it wont be a BFP this time - it never is!

* buying bulk packs of pre-conception vitamins and always getting through them all
* discovering all the natural therapies etc you never knew existed or had tried before. AP, naturopaths, chiros, osteos, physios, homeopathy, reiki, reflexology, kinesiology, psychics, astrology, tarot, etc
* reaching the Medicare safety net by mid February every year
* getting to know your local medicare office staff on a first name basis
* challenging your dr on every change to your treatment - feeling like 'i know best'

**Shanti** · February 26th, 2008, 04:53 PM

Klee- omg! I've done a HPT even when AF arrived!! lol but only once!! I was desperate lol now i've just accepted it when AF arrives as hard as it is....betcha many other girls have done the same!!!

Sarah - you got some good one's there!! I liked your first one cos i do that!! haha! and yes every time i looked at tops i say to DH 'yes this will be good for when i'm pregnant' and he just goes....

tee hee....

oh you girls have all got great ones!!!! Keep em' rolling.....anything to distract us from the 2WW!!!!

**Shanti** · February 26th, 2008, 04:55 PM

OMG OMG..... I have a great one!!!

* You analyse your symptoms ie headaches, nausea, sore BBs etc and then you stop and realise 'hang on, I haven't even ovulated YET!!!" HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

(i do this) tee hee

**lilcosmo** · February 26th, 2008, 05:55 PM

OMG Ren, what a scream!!

Well done for giving us all a laugh.

You get worried every time you cough or sneeze during the tww due to an irrational fear that it might make your "maybe" baby fall out... (or maybe that's just me?! LOL!)

Krystie - LOL

I thought i was the only one who worried about that!!