I read your posts and honestly believe that you are stuck in a victim role. Until you stop playing this your kids are going to keeps treating you this way.

Yes - some people have extra support and in your case it's up to you to find these support rather than just giving up and thinking things are going to fall into your lap.
Being a parent is a hard job, but it's up to you how hard you make it.
I'm not going to reply to anymore posts here because I believe that you have been given so much information and it's now up to you to use the information the lovely girls here have provided you with.
I wish you the best of luck and hope you can work things out.