I suppose I could call my kids are ungrateful too Sue, they have no idea waht I go through every day at work to make money for the things they need and want, they expect meals to be on the table, food to be in the pantry and clothes washed. They only think of themselves, they leave lights on in rooms they're not in and they waste food, they use the phone without asking etc. But they're kids and I am their mother, it's what we do.

I also understand your point about having nurtured them for many years with no thanks or appreciation on their behalf....I don't think I've ever thanked my parents for all they've done for me over the years - have you?

To me what is going on in your household is perfectly normal! All you can do from here is teach them to be more responsible for themselves. Perhaps start by giving them all a washing basket of their own and a roster for use of the washing machine or ask them to take turns cooking a meal every night.

Sue, I really think you and your family need some professional help for this. There's nothing else we here on BB can say to you that we already haven't. I hope your situation gets better.