Sue, every time someone suggests something you could do to make it better (and in almost all cases it's been very good, practical advice that works in all sorts of situations, like boundaries, rules, taking charge of what you will and won't do for others), you come up with a reason why you don't want to try the advice offered. This leads me to think that you're not really looking for ways you could change your situation and relationships, but rather, that you want things to stay as they are. You're not posting to get strategies or ideas to help your situation, just to vent, is that right?