Okay Sue, I actually took the time to go through your other threads seeming you didnt answer any questions that could have helped me try and help and I am going to say what is my honest opinion from the info gathered.

I take it you have at least 3 children. Your eldest must be at least 30? A daughter in high school, a daughter who has a baby that had it at an early age and a son who does drugs??? You have been eperated from an abusive husband for quite some time? You are in a relationship with a man you dont love but you are keeping him around because he is helpful and does things and is smart? You and your mother do not get on as she takes money of you and does not help? You work full time and want to get a nanny or is that for a friend? Or are you a nanny? I am confused. Am I right or is that wrong?

-You need to stop playing the victim role. I know that sounds harsh but being so negative would be rubbing off on your kids and its any wonder the way they are.
-I understand you have been through a very destructive relationship with a previous partner (I presume the childrens father??) but you are out of that relationship and from your posts, I gather for a while. These are YOUR children. YOU are their MOTHER. Mothers should love unconditionally, it doesnt mean you always have to LIKE your children but I think you need to understand that these children have been through whatever you have been through as well. Yes they are not the ones who have paid bills and might not have said all the thank yous that they should but I dont know many families that the children do. It doesnt mean that they dont. One day they will realise and as Limeslice said, I hope its not to late.
-You have a child at high school still (I gather from the thread about homework). Well go and speak to the school. Its not up to your family to communicate with the school or deal directly with your childrens issues, its up to you. You need to be more pro-active. Yes its tiring but that is being a parent.
-I honestly dont understand your relationship with whoever this male is. Your threads are rather confusing about him as you say one thing about him one thread and then something totally different in another thread.
-You are so dismissive of getting counselling which is fine but why are you asking for help from us if you dont want to change anything.
-Dr Phil and Oprah are like consellors. Yes very famous ones but all they do is what a counsellor would do anyway so if you are in desperate need of their help, go and see a consellor.

I really dont know what else to say, but will end with this.

There is a very big difference between hearing advice and actually listening to it. I suggest you really open your ears and mind to advice that you have been given.

I really do hope that you can put some suggestions in place that you have been given. It is not going to make the situation any worse by at least trying them out.