Gigi, Bilby's dad is the only dad Bilby has. He's alive. Does Bilby also envy other children their fathers? And Bilby makes a lovely daughter. Are you going to get back together with her father now? No. Well then.

For crying out loud, "she's alive" isn't a reason to stay in an abusive relationship, much less invite one back into your life. You are more than enough for Bilby, your lack of self-esteem is just not letting you see that.

As for the different generations and the cooking things - there is time for that. I know you dislike socialising, but far better to make a new relationship with a nice old lady than to resurrect an abusive one with a horrid old lady.