Donor Conception General Chatter #8

[Caramello]

Thanks Blizz, Tarkine and MM.

Tarkine - I hope I don't become a brain dead goldfish!

MM its easier at 6.30 - any later and I may forget. I'll just get up, do it then go back to sleep on the weekend.

Had my first dose this morning.

Had a shocking night's sleep last night - will take the dog to the vet for the 8.30am appointment and go back to sleep when I get back - I'll ring the union later.

[Lieve]

Oh Gargy, I can't quite imagine what it's like as I haven't embarked on IVF treatment yet, but I'm quite excited for you. Go the syranel !!(I'll probably look back at this post in a few months and go, what was I thinking??)

Joy, I hope as the days pass, the hurt and sadness at your BFN result become a little less.

Blizz, what you say below about needing to feel like you have some sort of control in the process, is so true for me. My frustration is building as I hang 'in limbo', and I really just want to embark on the next chapter, whatever that may be. We have another appointment with DH's FS (sperm guru)tomorrow morning to do a whole battery of tests and scans (the FS even mentioned looking for a possible tumor which freaked me a tad and put a little perspective on having child versus ensuring DH is healthy), so I'm really hoping after this round of tests we'll be a step closer to...well, somewhere!

to you all from gloomy, winter has returned with a vengeance, Melbourne.

[Caramello]

Joy,

Good luck to both you and DH tomorrow with the tests.

OK - the syranel must be getting to me - sorry Lieve - I hope the tests went ok...

[MsPink]

Goodluck Joy..thinking of you..

[blizz]

good luck with the tests Joy, I had a day off the computer yesterday, wouldn't let myself turn it on and I got heaps accomplished, have to do some stuff for DH's buisness this morning then I am going to do the same again and turn off the computer (not even allowing myself to turn it on tonight when I have finished my tasks for the day need early nights more importantly)
will check in to make sure everybody is oK though but only briefly for a little while.

[Caramello]

Good idea Blizz!

Maybe I need to do this as well - the syranel is definitely kicking in - got very impatient with DH tonight! (as well as substituting Joy's name for Lieve - sorry Lieve!)

Also had the allergy test today - I am allergic to household and compost MOULD! Which means I may never lift a finger in the garden or clean a bathroom again You should have seen DH's face when I told him that he will have to clean the bathroom in future!

I'm getting an X-Ray and CT scan tomorrow morning very early so I will have to go to bed very soon...

[blizz]

hey I sused the bathroom thing out years ago...all bathroom cleaners effect my asthma so DH has been the official bathroom cleaner for quite a few years now
good luck with your tests Gargy, hope they help to sort some answers out for you.
I am going to dissappear again shortly having a can't be bothered week this week, DD is due to wake any minute now and I need to organise some tea for us will be in bed early tonight...hope all are well

[Joy08]

Hi Ladies

Just thought I would let you all know I am ok! I think I was really hormonal when I wrote my last post!! I mean I am still disappointed but I am ready for the next step! I am focusing on getting my body and mind ready... been doing lots of exercise (which I think is helping me feel good!) eating well & just thinking in a positive way.
Our next FS appt is on 27th October... so will organise our FET then. I have my next acupuncture session tomorrow so looking forward to that...

Gargy - How is the synarel going? Are you thinking of doing acupuncture?

Blizz - Not long to go now!! How exciting!!

Lieve - I hope the tests went well... thinking of you

Well that's all from me for now... will be back sometime over the weekend to catch up with you all

[Cuddlepie]

Hi ladies, I am sorry if I am crushing this thread, but with the latest information we just found out (DH's sperm DNA SCSA result came back 30) I just want to know what the process for sperm donor involved.

I know I might have jumped the gun a bit but the more research I found, the more I googled, the more I get scared. I don't want when I get pregnant then I start to worry about m/c, birth defect, childhood cancer or even offspring infertility, gee, that's just too much. And as much as I know myself, I will never cease to worry ...

While we are doing what we can ATM to improve DH's result, just want to find out the back-up plan if we need.

thanks guys

[Caramello]

Cuddlepie,

You are entirely welcome to be here!

Was the research you were doing about DH's issues, or about donor sperm? (sorry, a little confused by your 2nd paragraph)

With donor sperm, the donor is asked to give a sample to make sure that the sperm is within normal parameters as far as numbers are concerned. I think (long time ago) they are also tested for genetic defects - I know it is tested for CF.

The process: well it will depend on the clinic that you use. If you wish to use an anonymous donor, the clinic will have Australian donors on their books and you will be able to choose from those available. Some clinics also allow people to access specific American donors - but this will be restricted to those the clinic have identified. If your clinic has limited or no donors you may be placed on a waiting list.

The other method is to use a known donor - a relative or friend that is willing to donate.

The other thing that the clinic will require is counselling to ensure that you and your partner understand the issues surrounding using a donor, such as when to tell the child, and knowing that the child can contact the biological parent at 18.

Expect grief and anger as emotions that you will need to deal with. As Blizz said in a few posts down, it is the grief equivalent of losing a child.

Hope that helps Cuddlepie

[blizz]

evening all,

Dh has popped out to pick up some noodle box for tea so have popped in for a quick catch up.

We had our floor tiles layed this morning and they look great (it is amazing rennovating even one tiny room to completion is so exciting it's just that we have so many 'works in progress' that it really started getting us both down.

I think DH has come around to the idea of it being better to pay somebody to do a job for us rather than trying to do things ourselves and then running in to trouble and consequently running out of enthusiasm for the project.


We hav had a glorious summer equivelent day today we all cracked out the shorts and Paige even had a splash in her clam shell pool this arvo.
(blame us if we don't see the sun again any time soon)

Paige has decided that she doesn't want to sleep during the day now and she has stayed up both today and yesterday with out a sleep, she has been flat out tonight playing outside on the deck and then with her older cousins at 6pm on the dot she plonked herself on my lap and cuddled in to my shoulder and I noticed her getting heavier but hadn't realised she was totally zonked on my shoulder in less than 30secs flat (I think an intermitent day sleep may be possible for a little while hopefully with out too many arguements from my very bossy 2 year old)


Still trucking with this HUGE tummy, midwife even had the nerve to say "there's still a bit of room for bubba to grow!!!!!!" I looked at her and said "don't tell me that, i am already bigger than I was at the end of my PG with Paige".....me thinks this little boy may be on the verge of being HUGE.
Still have 11 days to go if I don't go over like I did with Paige (by 2 weeks)
feeling great in myself have a little more energy and feeling healthy for the first time in this entire PG (Blizz touches wood so she doesn't jinx herself)



I woke up twice last night to Paige and then realised why....the neighbours had either music playing or a band practicing at 1:30am....If they had woken Paige one more time I would have rung the police but they must have stopped by then as she didn't wake again (I couldn't hear it from my room but it was loud as anything in Paiges room at the back of the house)

Well that's it for me for an update take care all, my noodles have arrived
Allie.B xxxxxx

[Cuddlepie]

Thanks Gargy for answering my confusing question. Its good to know how the whole thing works...haven't talked to DH yet, bet he will say no to Donor sperm idea...I guess I just want to find out the logistic part of the process and if we really need to go down that path, it will be a long road to prepare emotionally and psychologically...I hope we don't need to...

For the time being, we are just waiting to connect with FS next week and most likely to be told that there is nothing to worried about just go with PICSI for this cycle . The important thing is WE need to have enough evidence (scientifically and statistically) to make us feel comfortable to do so...we will see...

BLizz, your life seems like a picture perfect for me, not long to go...how exciting!

[Malyna]

Cuddlepie, when we went down the route for anon. DS, we were offered local and international sperm donors. the international donors had quite a detailed family history of the health of parents, siblings, aunts and grandparents. You can search the website and bring in your own choice (additional cost) or choose one from the list of donors from the clinic. The donor decision is entirely up to you.
You could also choose ICSI which is an alternative if they find some sperm, that aren't mobile enough. Some people choose relatives (ie brothers) or friends who are willing to donate. The issue in Australia is that the donor has to be willing to be contacted by any offspring after the offspring reach 18.

In addition, any excess embies produced by donor sperm, cannot be on-donated (which is the thing I found extremely difficult).

blizz.. totally agree about getting tradies in, glad to hear that things are getting sorted out re the renos. Paige is just adorable! Still have my bets on the 30 October - or perhaps 29th for you and DH to meet Angus!


Take care everyone!

[blizz]

cuddlepie, having DH say no to DS is not an uncommon event, my DH was very certain that we wouldn't go down that track but with some very good counselling an amazing FS and family support we both headed down the DS trail and now have our wonderful family and absolutley no regrets, it is amazing what becomes clear when there are very limited options

[Caramello]

Whoopsy!!

Almost forgot the syranel! I've had a full on day with cleaning and I was having a shower.

My mobile phone alarm went off and I thought 'what's that for?'

Then I suddenly remembered and went flying out of the shower! Luckily I took it within the right space of time.

Not sure if this vagueness is to do with stress or the syranel, but gosh this is doing my head in!

I also put the frozen chicken in the fridge, had to go back and forth between our room and the laundry because I forgot what I was doing...oh this is fun!

Blizz - I agree, getting tradespeople in usually makes things much smoother...

[Malyna]

Gargy, welcome to the wonderful world of Syneral - I've been under incredibly stressful situations and been forgetful - but nothing like when I was on Syneral - I would drop out in the middle of a sentance and forget what I was saying or what the other person had just said!!

[SD2001]

Hi Cuddlepie,

Potential sperm donors at clinics are tested for most common genetic defects and are also screened by known family medical history. Then the quality and quantity of their sperm is checked. They are also screened for any STD's. Finally trial freezing and thawing is undertaken to ensure their sperm can survive the rigors of the freezing/thawing process. To top it all off, all sperm is quarantined for 6 months before it is allowed to be used by recipients. Not any male can be a sperm donor, in fact many people who get tested to be a sperm donor do not meet the requirements. Thus if you utilise an Australian SD from an Australian clinic then the risk of any defects or illnesses from the donor sperm is actually less than from the average male in society.

SD2001

[SD2001]

In addition, any excess embies produced by donor sperm, cannot be on-donated (which is the thing I found extremely difficult).

I asked this question of my clinic counsellor a few years ago and she said that the recipients could donate the embryo and that I had no input into the matter. The SD looses all rights to the sperm once it is utilised to fertilise an egg. So the recipient couple could then donate the embryo to another couple without the need for the consent of the SD.

This is a possible "grey area" for the new NSW legislation coming out ...

My personal opinion is that I am happy for the recipient couple to donate the embryo to another couple, but it is a little weird that I do not get a say in the matter. I very much doubt the clinic would even inform me of the situation.