It's how I am Lulu... maybe it is because I have an inflated ego but I don't think she deliberately wanted to make me feel like a stupid timewaster... I just think she demonstrated a low EQ at that particular time... she lacked professionalism and she's probably not even aware of it. So many people just go through life without even stopping to think if they are being fair or even valuing treating people with decency. Society instills in us a sense of valuing IQ. Everyone knows it pays to be smart with numbers or words or facts.... but does society ask us to increase/improve our EQ? I don't see much evidence of it to be honest. Infact there is more evidence of support for a low EQ: value stuff over relationships, persue the status, keep your eyes on the prize at all costs, take the easy path, get rich quick, I want it now. Are these helpful? I wrote in another thread that people in developed Western societies are turning into spectators rather than participants in life... we prefer the safety of watching and judging... we are become so ego-centric... just like children. And just like children our skills of empathy are becoming more and more limited. People don't have the time to think about anyone elses perspective as they hurry through life in their quest of More. Maybe my choice to lead a slower paced life than most allows me to be this way... I am not the kind of person who likes to be rushed and I refuse to lead as fast a life as most people I know because too many important things get overlooked. But I'm rambling now. I guess my main point was that I identified this exchange with a school receptionist as an example of how choosing my emotional reaction could work for me. It honestly was not that much of an effort. I like the outcome.
ETA: also maybe I do take life too seriously but from what I am told I was born that way: with an analytical frown on my face. I know it's fun to be able to laugh at things at bit more but that's not a glove that fits me... and I think that's ok... I play to my strengths and try to improve my weaknesses. The world needs a laugh but I'm ok with quiet reflection too.
Last edited by Bathsheba; July 16th, 2009 at 05:37 PM.
But can you give the receptionist the benefit of the doubt or is she always like that? If it's a one-off, you have enough EQ to forgive yeah? (masterchef is on soon!).
I don't think you have a massive ego, maybe you think more negatively instead of positively?
I also think that you might be right about people forgetting manners, but that's been a long term complaint through the ages. Yep, the world seems to want everything now, but recent (and not so recent) events have shown its not the path to happiness. Lots of people took on too much credit and stuff-wise - but poor fool them. Poor fool them indeed, I don't think ha ha ha (I'm sure you don't either) to those suffering under the weight of their wants, I just feel sad they were led to believe (OR were greedy enough) to think it was ever going to work. Now you are married to a banker so you understand all that and reject it for your reasons, as I have rejected it for my own. But I'm sure you and me both do other stupido things
Which lead me to my next phat opnion - people are rude because they are unhappy. How many issues can fall by the wayside or not seem terrible when you are in a GREAT state of mind. I think its almost impossible to snarl at someone when you are happy.
So at the end of the day, I don't swear the small stuff and if someone is horrible to me, my first thought is how unhappy they must be to snap at a random stranger so I feel compassion instead.
And if they have been a right ROYAL sucko, I smooth my anger by imagining their husbands (eg) wearing silk knickers till I feel better
I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt cause I have a low EQ and know I often say or do things that seem inconsiderate or impolite, not because I'm a nasty, hateful person but because, so often, I just don't realise. So I guess I just extrapolate and assume everyone's like me. Fortunately, many people are not.
I'm going to have to come back to this. DP is baking scones (!) and is telling me everything that he's doing. Now he's getting the tape measure out to measure how thick the mixture is.
So impossible for me to string anything coherent together right now but will try again tomorrow.
Oh so sorry to mention Fiona but geez that made me giggle ... just the thought of scones & a tape measure, i think i better go before i say what i'm actually thinking, ... LOL filthy ol' me
but I don't think she deliberately wanted to make me feel like a stupid timewaster... I just think she demonstrated a low EQ at that particular time... she lacked professionalism and she's probably not even aware of it. So many people just go through life without even stopping to think if they are being fair or even valuing treating people with decency. Society instills in us a sense of valuing IQ. Everyone knows it pays to be smart with numbers or words or facts.... but does society ask us to increase/improve our EQ? I don't see much evidence of it to be honest. Infact there is more evidence of support for a low EQ: value stuff over relationships, persue the status, keep your eyes on the prize at all costs, take the easy path, get rich quick, I want it now. Are these helpful? I wrote in another thread that people in developed Western societies are turning into spectators rather than participants in life... we prefer the safety of watching and judging... we are become so ego-centric... just like children. And just like children our skills of empathy are becoming more and more limited. People don't have the time to think about anyone elses perspective as they hurry through life in their quest of More. Maybe my choice to lead a slower paced life than most allows me to be this way... I am not the kind of person who likes to be rushed and I refuse to lead as fast a life as most people I know because too many important things get overlooked. But I'm rambling now. I guess my main point was that I identified this exchange with a school receptionist as an example of how choosing my emotional reaction could work for me. It honestly was not that much of an effort. I like the outcome.
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