Preventing the early sexualisation of our children

[Bengal]

That may be true but I still dislike Bratz dolls. I can't help it - although I am fully aware, like I said before, that my DD doesn't look at them in the same way - I see a toy that is representative of this early sexualisation of children, little girls especially, whereas she just sees a pretty doll to play with. So, while I am reluctant to buy one for her, I am not going to ban them - if she is given one, she will be able to play with it. She prefers other toys atm anyway, so it's a bit of a non-issue really.

With all due respect, this thread isnt about bratz dolls, who likes them and who doesn't. It is about, in a roundabout way wether bratz dolls and other media contribute to the sexualisation of children

[bon]

With all due respect, this thread isnt about bratz dolls, who likes them and who doesn't. It is about, in a roundabout way wether bratz dolls and other media contribute to the sexualisation of children

I know that - which is why I said in my two posts on this topic that I do think they contribute to the sexualisation of children, and that is why I don't like them - they are just one example that is relevant to my current circumstances as a mother to a 4 year old girl who likes dolls. I thought I had explained that. I understand this is not a thread about dolls, but IMO they are part of the issue as a whole.

[Phteven]

I think that this thread might be agood place to have a vent about something that really bugs me - when people see a little girl and a little boy who are friends and start making stupid jokes about them being boyfriend and girlfriend. It does my head in, they have plenty of time for g/f's and b/f's so why start up when they're so young. I really don't like the message that friendships between genders are nessescarily anything more than just friendships.

Oh yeah, Barbie sucks!!! and Bratz.

[Bengal]

I know that - which is why I said in my two posts on this topic that I do think they contribute to the sexualisation of children, and that is why I don't like them - they are just one example that is relevant to my current circumstances as a mother to a 4 year old girl who likes dolls. I thought I had explained that. I understand this is not a thread about dolls, but IMO they are part of the issue as a whole.

I dont have the energy to argue on BB with you about this, all I ever wanted to express, from a women who has raised a young lady, is to let you ladies know, dont stress too much on the small stuff, ie packaged plastic dolls, not saying that exploytation of chicldren is small stuff, I know it is worring to be raising a young lady in the midst of media exploitation of children, and if dolls, and video clips, make you feel a certain way, the best thing you can do is be close to your daughter, talk, talk, talk

[maz]

ah let them play with dame plastic dolls while their little...id much rather that then playing with MY plastic toys

I cant comment on the boyfriend/girlfriend thing Chloe I have 2 arrange marriages already lined up hahahah but I think its more for us mum's of those kids.....we feel proud and it bring's a much wanted closeness of families. I really dont mind me bestie coming the MIL to one of my kids later .

Do we class just the 'sexy' things though for our children? what about the typical sterieo type toys all round for each sex...car's for boys and prams for girls? All of my boys have had doll's to cuddle, change 'nappies' and breastfeed but then the took the doll's out into the sandpit and buried them in the sand along with their cars. VY kidnaps her baby brothers ride on THomas as loves trains like her eldest big brother...yet she loves her babies and is very protective over them. I have never said dont play with a doll/car to any of my children. What's the point? Id rather them be aware of what everyone feels and the joy toys can bring everyone.

Jed and I were a bit peeved on the weekend. We really wanted to buy Vy a pair of bather to take to QLD when we go later in the year. We couldnt find anything decent in Vy's size. All that was available were stupid little bikini's and summer clothing....OMG short skirts that leave nothing to the imagination! Looks like I'll be hitting the wahm stores and buying up decent made clothing that doesnt make my 3 yo look like a 16 yo doing to the friday night blue light disco.

[Olive]

Jed and I were a bit peeved on the weekend. We really wanted to buy Vy a pair of bather to take to QLD when we go later in the year. We couldnt find anything decent in Vy's size. All that was available were stupid little bikini's .

i have issues with bathers too hun!!! i hate skimpy bikini's on toddlers, it just isnt right!! i only buy one piece bathers and actually try and get speedos brand for her!! i'll check out my local rebel and see if they have some!

[Rouge]

DD 7 still has not worn a two piece.

[Lulu]

Oh Bratz are rank.

Maz, The Wiggles brand do a lovely swimsuit for liddle girlies, got Target out there?

[maz]

yep...we were in target at the time.

Jol's - I didnt even think of rebel..thanks for the thumbs up hon

I remember Vy getting a pair of short shorts for her last christmas.....you know the sexy ones that show a bum cheek...completely inappropriate for a 2 yo let alone a 10 yo in my eyes....well lets jsut say St Vinnie were extremely greatful for their donation that next week

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I wore tiny bikinis as a little girl. And as an adult I still do. Same figure, same outfits I reckon.

I dislike "Bratz" not just for the clothes or the too-much make-up. It's the ideal of being a "brat". Who wants to be a brat? What message is that sending too? But I do love Barbie and so does DS. We love accessorising! I do have a barbie bikini but I do have some gorgeous ballgowns for Barbie too.

Flesh isn't sexual. I don't think letting DS run around in the garden in a T-shirt and nowt else is sexy, nor would anyone else think so. Clothes aren't sexy. Wearing skanky clothes and showing flesh and gyrating around with a panful of makeup on your face... isn't sexy. But it is trying to be. And children who want to try to be sexy (even though they never will be, not in my eyes at least) is a problem.

DS picked up a doll of his own bat the other day. He hugged it, said "baby", then dumped it and went back to the cars. I don't think of cars as being for boys (I longed for cars as a child!), I do think of them as being something DS really likes. Just as trains are a thing DS, DH, Dad and FiL all like. And picking matching shoes for Barbie, wearing tiaras and silk scarves are things DS and I like doing together. Activities and objects aren't gendered, but some are generally enjoyed by boys more than girls and vice versa.

[Maruschke]

A friend of mine has two boys, and they made sure that they had a variety of dolls to play with... a chinese boy, an african girl and an aboriginal girl doll. I think it is great to let them choose their own toys and not only supply gender specific toys . As for Bratz dolls, I won't buy one for DD, but if she is given one, it is probably a great opportunity to talk to her about appropriate clothing and body image and attitude.

DD1 I hope never wears (or wants to wear) a bikini as a child. I was in target when I saw the most disgusting bikini's in size 2. Ugh!!!

[bon]

Not to mention how bad for sun safety those tiny little bikinis are... in this day and age with all the warnings about the dangers of skin cancer, these sorts of swim suits for children are innappropriate from a health standpoint as well. My DDs have been given little bikinis, but they have never worn them to the beach or the pool - I prefer rash shirts and bikini bottoms, or rash shirts over a one piece because they provide a lot more coverage from the sun.

[Olive]

bon DD wears rashes too!!

maz the best time to get bathers from rebel is the end of summer start of winter!! cheap as!!

[Toomanytoomany]

With all due respect, this thread isnt about bratz dolls, who likes them and who doesn't. It is about, in a roundabout way wether bratz dolls and other media contribute to the sexualisation of children

I don't see how the two can be separated to be honest, particularly if my reason for disliking them is precisely *because* I believe they contribute to a negative image of women and the sexualisation of children's play.

Lady Zaidie, I agree so much with your whole post!

I've had my eyes opened a little since having Tom. My oldest five are all girls, and I've been pretty horrified at the pressure on them to be a particular way. We all sit around and roll our eyes at the ads that have the little girls playing with the dolls and kitchen stuff, and we bemoan that little boys get to play with the trucks and stuff on the toy sale brochures. But what I've realised is that both genders are being pushed into these incredibly constraining gender roles - girls are overtly sexualised, encouraged to preen and act like their mothers (or like society thinks their mothers should behave), and are given passive entertainments revolving around shopping and gossip with their "girlfriends". Boys are all dark colours and action and no subtlety and animals and getting grubby and avoiding anything soft and "girlie". The toy aisles that are sometimes even *marked* "boys" are full of violent paraphernalia, homicidal role play stuff that makes me shudder. Boys are just as constrained as girls. Or, Patriarchy Hurts Men Too!

We've found a few stores that don't fall into this, such as Early Learning Centre stuff and independent children's stores, and we will frequent those from now on. And we'll continue to vocally challenge any inappropriate or constraining images that we see with our kids.

[Toomanytoomany]

I dont have the energy to argue on BB with you about this, all I ever wanted to express, from a women who has raised a young lady, is to let you ladies know, dont stress too much on the small stuff, ie packaged plastic dolls, not saying that exploytation of chicldren is small stuff, I know it is worring to be raising a young lady in the midst of media exploitation of children, and if dolls, and video clips, make you feel a certain way, the best thing you can do is be close to your daughter, talk, talk, talk

But beyond our own children, it is *good* to be active in opposing those very things that make it difficult societally to buck the trend, don't you think, for the sake of everyone else as well? Wouldn't it be good if there weren't hundreds and hundreds of small things everywhere that added up to this huge culture oppressing our kids? Wouldn't it be nice if we didn't have to constantly be talking, talking, talking, to overcome these influences?

[Coolabahdee]

I have a big problem with the radio, every time we get in the car it's those stupid last longer ad's and can't get it up ad's or the no arousal ad's, ffs when did the radio suddenly sell out like this, doesn't seem to matter which station either, it would be nice to be able to get in the car and sing along to a cool song with the kids on the way to and from hockey with out all the sex stuff. The media bombards us with it. It is increasingly hard to protect our kids from it.
A little while ago there was talk about g strings for babies and the little cfm boots, I think it was Big W or Target that was selling them, I think that is disgusting. I have always dressed my girls in girlie clothes and refuse to buy short shorts or skirts and older teen clothes. I think dressing a child up to look like a tart is perverted and extremely distasteful. I still buy my miss 13's clothes, she doesn't get much of a say and actually hasn't really showed any leans towards tarty clothes....yet and hopefully the values I have instilled in her and her siblings will carry through so she does display respect for herself when she dresses.
Why can't we as a society let children be children, what is the mother thinking when she dresses her 4 year old up in tarty clothes and takes her out, also we had a friend a while back who didn't care that the kids were around when they watched movies, whether it was violence or sex, didn't care, she also bought her DD the latest tart trend clothes and she would strut around half naked infront of her SD friends at the age of 9 and say she wanted to be a stripper....WTF!!! They would have a laugh about it...WTF!!! We are no longer friends. How could you let your child know about such things!!!!!!!

[Inanna]

When I had DD14 I refused to allow Barbie and her friends in the house. I was a little ambitious there... In time she just loved Barbie - but we talked (& I talk with my other daughters) about Barbie being very unrealistic as real women are soft, fleshy and come in different sizes... DD would say "and she hasn't got a vulva!"...

I also don't much like Bratz - my girls have not even been interested in them so it hasn't been an issue.

I agree with the clothing issue too - my girls and my son all wear rashies over their bikini bottoms (or shorts in DS case)... It's a sun safety issue first and foremost.

I try really dilligently to point out that women have different bodies and how amazing our bodies are. That what we stand for, how we behave and respond to and in the world are important - much more than how we look.

It's a tough one - and I agree that society has eroded away that playful childlikeness that many children had and sadly don't any more. I think we have to be dilligent as parents to allow those very scant childhood years to be held in innocence...

[Trillian]

I think being open and frank with your kids when they ask you stuff is the way to go. None of this dumbing down caper or an answer so vague that it just sends them looking for it somewhere else. If you do that, then I think it causes not only confusion, because if they already have an idea in their head and just want to come to you for confirmation, then it blurs the lines of communication and they might think you are deliberately trying to hide something from them kwim? I think toys like bratz and barbies etc on their own are insignificant, because obviously they look at these dolls and then look at real people and they can see that not everyone has a head the size of a pumpkin or walks on tippytoes but if the 'message' that those dolls send with their skimpy clothes, big boobs, high heels and their whole 'attitude' is reinforced by having Mum buy you clothes that aren't age appropriate (mini's and halters, faux leather and all the rest) and generally not teaching the child how to disassociate the pretend of the doll from the reality then there is possibly going to be a problem. I think if you don't want to have the dolls in the house because that's part of the way you are teaching your children about it all, then that's more than appropriate, just as it is to let them have the dolls but encourage them to see the dolls for what they are. Personally I don't like the bratz dolls because their feet come off and they get lost, causing no end of dramas and leaving you with a scary looking doll with an oversized noggin and no feet ROFL. Being the mother of a boy, I worry more about this little girl a year above my DS at school who obsessively plays with dolls - now thats probably not something that would immediately raise alarm bells, but it's the way she treats these dolls like they are a real baby - she takes them everywhere with her up the street, they even stop halfway up the street so she can breastfeed her doll (OK, so that's not all that bad because it means that she sees BF as normal will likely feed her own children etc) and they have a rear facing car seat in the car for this doll to be strapped into while they are driving - I'm not kidding! I asked her Mum about it one day at school and she told me that the seat is purely for the doll. And I do worry that this girl may blur the lines and hit 15 and want a baby of her own for real kwim? (and maybe even with my boy is my worry ) So while for this girl it's not skimpy clothes, racy video clips or bratz dolls, it's still something that she is indulged in by her parents to what I would consider an unhealthy extent.

I don't think that the toys, the clothes and the music is about sexualisation either, but just making them grow up too fast and try to deal with complex situations like boy/girl relationships (like the dolls and all their unrelenting marketing movies and cartoons etc) and the whole 'must look like this to be cool' type thing way before they are able to process it emotionally kwim? The sexualisation will come regardless of what we do because it's about the perception of others and how they see our children. Some people would still find a girl in a neck to knee swimsuit sexually pleasing if that's the sad, sick sort of person they are.