I'm sorry I posted this and left it... I've been incredibly unwell this past 10 days & literally haven't had it in me to be on my puter!

Thankyou for those that replied.

Fionas I found your comment really struck me
it's risky to open up. You could get bitten on the bum as I have, if you choose to open up to the wrong people. And old friends doesn't necessarily mean "good" friends or "close" friends.
What is the risk of opening up? What is it that we risk?

I am not "picking on you" I just sincerely want to understand what it is that is so deeply feared by so many?

I am a very open person who really most people know as outspoken and it's very obvious what Ifeel and think on different matters. I hope & I aim to communicate that with kindness and tact but nevertheless I am very succinct and direct in my opinions (or lack of one!). i don't find it difficult to share my feelings. I hear people say it's risky but what are we really risking?

To me the only risk in not opening up is that the other will not know us in our entirety (whatever that may be in that moment!).

I find I have more time now as a 40 something with 5 kids than I did single and working. Mostly because now I actually do know who I am, who I aspire to be, my beliefs, or where I am undecided etc etc. I have and do think more deeply and widely than I did at 23 than I do at 43.

Perhaps because I do share and open up I have found it less difficult to build a village. There are few secrets & I have no fear in saying: "I don't know about that" or "that's different to how I feel but I hear you"... When as a younger woman I felt more pressured (but less than some!) to conform somewhat.

I hope it's okay to ask that question of you Fiomas