The known is 'safe' and we know where we stand - even if that means constant pain and suffering... the unknown *could* be worse!

Someone has a saying on their tagline or signature that says something like 'people can only hurt you if you give permission' - it's so true. If you have confidence in yourself and have your own self to 'fall back on' - you won't be hurt by the other person's possible rejection because you weren't seeking their approval - iykwim. It's the need to fill up our own selves with other's support that lends us to hurt.

So I think what I'm saying is that you need to grow yourself first before you can have the strength to 'put yourself out there'. But by the time you've grown - you won't need to put yourself out there as you'll have all you need from yourself.

The next question is - how do you grow yourself?

*hugs* to all those who have suffered hurt... I hope this thread helps you get a little trust back in yourself to help you take a further step.