Talking about Pain...

[Inanna]

I was reading this quote last evening & it "spoke" to me about how important it can be to share our feelings. Not just our happy "lollypop" moments but our pains. Our struggles. Our heartfelt challenges & even our travels to the edge of the precipice.

I've always been a Woman who connects with other women & builds Community. I also have not had too much trouble sharing my inner troubles and conflicts. I've been raped, abused physically, emotionally & spiritually, I've suffered tragic loss, life threatening illness, the near loss of my child more than once, the loss of my birth family, the break down of my marriage. I sure aint proud of these things but I personally am not afraid to share them. If I've learned nothing I've learned that when you can hear anothers' story it helps sometimes to "make sense" of your own. Or sometimes, just the heart swell you feel heals in another way...

I find the loss of that sharing by so many in our Society now incredibly sad - for the Wise Women of our Communities clam up as a "stiff upper lip" is needed... Or we only speak of the" nice" stuff... Sometimes I think we are afraid to speak about our pain or our difficulty for fear of being "different" to our peers, or odd. I think this stems from our lack of a Village...

Anyway I could (& DO!) go on and on... This is the quote - it's from a book I have read called "The Gift of Betrayl"...

"Women buy tons of self-help books, seek counselling & guidance 80 times more often than men, & welcome one another in loving acceptance Yet we martyr ourselves too much; keep our hurts, pains, & challenges a secret: & try too hard to make the unworkable work. We need to change! One of the most important lessons I've learned from immersing myself in theliteratueofaddiction recovery is: we are only as sick as our secrets. My personal life & clinical work have shown me how relevant those words are to relationship challenges. Don't keep your doubts, hurts, & pains a secret. Let other women help you. Pick safe friends as confidates - & talk to them. Ask them to help you, & let them in." (Eve Wood MD)