Endo and painful sex

**elephant** · January 29th, 2008, 09:03 PM

desist - I think the more we deal with our endo the more we learn what we need to ask and if your dr is not a specialist or forthcoming with any info to ease your concerns it doesnt make life easy.

I was the same I think before I was diagnosed with endo i thought if I could ignore things they will go away in time but they didn't and its so hard even now when nothing seems to work.

Good luck with your search for a specialist because finding the right one is the key to a successful treatment! Kepp me posted as I would like to hear how you are going!

wiildn · April 17th, 2008, 03:40 PM

Hello there,
I am a 22yr old male and my 20yr old girl friend has endometriosis and chrones disease. She was diagnosed about 3 years ago with both, although, we have never had a 'normal' sex life. She also has a very low sex drive, so occasionally we try a little foreplay and she can enjoy it but that only lasts about 5 mins before it will hurt. We have tried creams, different lubricants, every position yet it always ends with her in tears and me feeling bad, I was wondering if anyone knows of anything that can help. With the awareness for endometriosis and chrones growing I hope this is something that gets addressed.

**elephant** · April 19th, 2008, 08:28 AM

Hi Wiildn,

I would like to extend a warm welcome to this forum!

I think its wonderful that you are so supportive of your girlfriend and are trying to help her through her pain and that you are working together because thats so important for your relationship!

I read your post and it was like reading what my boyfriend would say about our relationship! I have had endometriosis for most of our relationship and suffer from extremely painful sexual intercourse like your girlfriend as well as many other symptoms. We try to have sex and I end up crying also and my partner never knows what to say or do to make me feel better the poor guy. Its a huge emotional burden for us, I know speaking for myself I feel like less of a woman because I am unable to have a 'normal' sex life and I think due to all my pain etc I find my sex drive very low because it causes so much pain etc sometimes its just easier to avoid sex!

How was she diagnosed with endometriosis? Has she had a laparoscopy?

I have had the surgery remove my endometriosis but I was left with some nerve pain which is the same pain as the endo so Im currently going through some different treatments to find some pain relief.

Let your girlfriend know if she needs some support and someone to chat to she is more than welcome to message me and we can have a chat as I know how much better I feel when I can chat with someone that is going through the same thing and really understands!

Good luck and please feel free to ask me any more questions!

**beau_9** · April 24th, 2008, 10:18 PM

hi there,
i haven't been diagnosed with endo yet, and i'm currently going through fertility treatment, however i've been having painful sex for many years. And yes i truly feel your pain.
my DH and i have devised a routine where we know which time of the month hurts more than others and what positions we can and can't do. i too get anxious beforehand and i feel it has impacted on my sexdrive but i try and relax as much as possible.
just before my periods doesn't hurt as much, so we make it to the bedroom a bit more and just after my periods i can't even do anything for at least a week. we try to sneak some postions in however sometimes ends up with a sharp pain and near tears, so we basically stear clear.
it's very frustrating. this pain is deep and has been gradually getting worse and at first every doctor told me to just use lube. i was going home in tears each time totally confused/frustrated, plus i didn't know anyone else going through this untill i found this site.
finally my gynae believes i have endo but have to wait for the specialist to see what's next.
fortunately for me i have an amazing DH who never pushes me and always understands, but i used to feel so bad at first, even though there was nothing i could do about it.
it's a little hard for us at the moment cause we are TTC but i've been having terrible ovulation pain and painful sex. but we're working on it.
i know it sounds like a roster but if you can work out which positions are good for you and whether there are times of the month that hurt less than others just go for them. i've found it much less stressful and enjoyable for both of us.
hope relief comes to all of us soon.

**desist** · June 5th, 2008, 04:33 PM

Well i went for a lap end of april, the doc removed some endo, left some there but there wasn't much to start with

I'm now tricycling so no severe monthly pain, but my general lower abdo pain is getting worse

I had some bad PMS moods before going on the pill (combined plus progesterone only, never been on it before) but now it's constant! I'm a little moody to say the very least, i was annoyed the other night and decided to punch the floor, i felt better afterward but broke my hand

Sex is still painful and DP is not as understanding as he was - he claims he needs it every other day and he becomes a bit mean if he doesnt get it. He says it's not my fault and he doesn't mean to take it out on me, but damn how horny can he be... My sex drive is zero! So now he wants to take up pot again to 'deal with it'. What a cop out. Yay for having a zonked out partner lol.

Hrmm that was only supposed to be a general update ... oops, sorry for the rant! I suppose what I'm getting at is the lap hasn't worked :P

**elephant** · June 6th, 2008, 08:29 PM

hey desist,

Im sorry to hear your lap wasn't as successful as you had hoped I know the disappointment I felt when I went through that!

Well I am pretty much the same still having all the same pain but I have been to my appointment at the pain clinic and she has given me some advice and some medication so im hoping I notice the improvement soon!

Sex for me is not currently an issue my partner and I split after seven years and I have moved out of the home we shared now I am focussing on myself and improving my pain. The endo wasnt the reason for the split but im sure it helped put strain on our relationship!

**secretmission** · June 19th, 2008, 09:18 PM

Hi everyone,
I actually also have really painful sex. I am so glad to see this thread!
I went to see a GP and she did some blood tests, pap smear, sent me to ultrasound and everything came back normal so she suggested perhaps I should see a psychologist.
But I know it true and clear that it's not in my head ... and I also noticed that if my DH doesn't enter completely then it tends to be less painful ...
Did you have any other symptoms with endo? How were you initially diagnosed with endo?
I certainly have an extremely low sex drive, let's just say we wouldn't be doing it if not because I want to have a bub ...

**desist** · July 5th, 2008, 11:59 AM

I'm sorry to hear about your relationship elephant, here's hoping you get the benefits you need from the YOU time, and that you find a caring doctor

secretmission - the main symptoms of endo I had (started at 16yo) were very painful periods and ovulation which progressively got worse over the years. 6 years later mum told me that both she and my grandma had endo, so I had a laparoscopy and they burnt some off. Had another lap last April.

My "IBS-like" symptoms of endo (common for endo) were made far worse after each operation, so this is what I'm currently trying to sort out

**desist** · April 17th, 2008, 06:20 PM

Going in for a lap with an endo specialist in brisbane on 30/4 - after one appointment I trust him and has a good rep, from what I've seen and heard.

I'm not getting my hopes up too much (my last op made it worse!) but I'm quietly confident that it will help ;-) I'll send an update once I know the results.