Meow I could have written your post. This is something that is driving me nuts at the moment.

I agree with what the others have said - you will never regret the kids you have. But having said that I think it is human nature to not regret any kids that you have - it is instinct to love them and therefore you could never regret them.

We have a huge list of cons with a third and very few pros - and the pros are generally "cos I want one". But I think with me the wanting is a desire to go through the baby stage again - when I look at my family I don't feel like anyone is missing, if that makes sense. So maybe it's a matter of working out whether you want another baby, or another person in your family.

I also am looking at what is the best thing for my current children. Sure, a bigger family may bring them more fun and happiness down the track, but in the shorter term they would miss out on a lot in the form of mummy time, travel (which we want to start doing soon once DS2 is a bit older), family outings etc. Even just being able to go to the park or play outside at certain times I fear would be restricted if I had a third as I can't do as many fun things with them while feeding or settling or anything else that takes so long with a little one. My DS1 suffered (I feel) when I was pregnant with DS2 and in the first year because we were so restricted. So I feel apprehensive about the impact that a third would have on my current two.

I also worry about the fact that each new child you never know what you will get - what if I had a child with severe health problems or special needs? Of course I would still love it etc but it would certainly be hard to cope, when already I feel like we are just surviving day to day!

What you said about surviving vs thriving is a pretty good way to put it.

I've probably not said anything helpful - but just know that you are not alone in this dilemma! Only you and your DH will know what is right for you. I think if we let our hearts rule on this decision we would all have about 20 kids, and it's the head's job to put the balance in and make us stop at the point where the added joy of another child isn't outweighed by the extra stress, logistical issues etc.