Finally jumping into this thread.

I grew up thinking my mother either had a very bad memory or just hated being wrong. If she was caught out on a breaking a promise, she would get so mad and say I was making things up. Gee, I forget things with the girls, but if I realise, I say sorry and make it up if I can.

My gut feeling is that they do have a memory problems and the NPD just wont let them admit it. It is very sad, as my mother developed very bad dementia (the worst the social workers had seen in a women her age). It was hard for us to pick up as the forgetting things was normal, her being self obsessed was normal (narcissism is a trait that often appears with alzheimers).

I have such mixed feelings about NPD. Yes, I believe my mother suffered from it, but I do believe that she was almost a split personality, there were glimpses of the decent person at times, but then there was the NPD one. I know in my heart that NPD brought on her dementia so early and so bad. My mother had been diagnosed with severe depression in her later years, combine that with the NPD (her not admitting that there was anything wrong) and in the end her brain just fried itself.