I haven't bothered reading the replies. All I can say is: Are you freaking serious!>!??!?!

1) Sex where one partner isn't willing isn't my idea of fun.
2) there are hormones in play that change a woman's desire for sex. While breastfeeding, there is usually a hormonal desire to NOT have sex.
3) usually, the men-folk usually aren't the ones getting up all night to feed & settle the baby. I can't remember the last time my husband did. I also know the last time I got 5 hours straight sleep was in November. But I'm meant to satisfy him?!!? What about satisfying me!? I'm the one that had the baby!

I think it is absolutely ABHORRENT that you would suggest that women should spread their legs for ANYONES satisfaction but their own unless they were physically & mentally ready. How is that good for the self esteem? Putting out because you're worried DP will go get it else where, or that your relationship will crumble if he's not satisfied... my god... where is the empowerment in that? Sounds like some women are too insecure to NOT have sex.

If I could get sleep out of a magazine or dvd (or free on some websites) what a man can get to cover his own needs, THEN I'll put out. Until then, my bed is for sleeping.
there are so many points in this post that make me go "wtf?" - there was no one in here telling YOU to put out. it was a general observation that sex is an important part of a relationship, and it is something that sometimes you may not FEEL like, but, if you put yourself in the position of actually trying to get past that, it can be enjoyable and CAN be a really great way of making your relationship stronger after you have kids. you obviously had a degree of sexual contact (and, dare i say it, enjoyment) BEFORE you had the baby - i guess the point being made is that, yes, your relationship will change due to the changes in your life, but it doesn't have to change to the degree where sex is non-existent

I, for one, find it ABHORRENT that ANYONE could suggest that I have sex with my husband because i'm insecure! we equally often initiate sexual contact - sometimes, it happens, sometimes it doesn't. sometimes DD is awake, and as much as we'd like to, we can't. Other times, one of us is too tired or just not in the mood. i certainly don't lay there and "think of England" while he does his thing. If it's not working for me, it's not happening at all! i don't feel any expectation to orgasm during every sexual encounter - it's nice, but if it doesn't happen, it doesn't mean i haven't enjoyed the experience! Any and ALL sexual contact we have is enjoyable for BOTH of us

oh, and maybe i'm lucky, but the statement about getting no help - i don't find that to be the case in our relationship (and in the relationship of many of our friends) - DH gets up to DD as often, if not MORE than me (and that was the case even when he was working away full time). I still BF, and it hasn't dampened my libido at all. DD feeds over night most nights (it's getting better slowly) but DH still gets up to her, makes sure she is dry, then brings her into bed with us. i snooze while i feed her. have done since birth basically. yeah, i might be in a lighter sleep, but i'm still sleeping

and maybe i'm nuts - but i actually LOVE half asleep sex - being so relaxed cos i'm almost asleep, and having him woo me, make love to me. sigh. LOVE IT! he knows if i say no, i mean no, and he won't push it - but i don't mind being woken when he comes to bed later than me, to feel him adoring me like that...