I am insanely jealous lol.

Personally I dont think you should go into this with your mum helping you out in your mind - just in case. Of course the extra help if and when available is appreciated, but it can't be demanded as such - I don't think that is fair.

Unfortunately I am in the situation of having no family support whatsoever here - and whenever we visit our family NOONE ever takes my kids off my hands for a few hours - hence me being jealous My friends here have also got little kids and sometimes cant cope with 1 so I am guilty because I dont think it is fair to inflict my 3 on anyone for a couple of hours Do you have friends like that??

And I am exhausted - in all honesty, stuff gets done, kids get to where they have to be, they are clean, fed, clothes washed - but my house leaves a bit to be desired, I see past the mess somedays - but I have to for MY sanity. My husband also travels and is away 2 - 4 nights per week - and whilst I know this is the life we have somehow chosen LOL, I hate that my family never offer to help - and we now have my MIL and my dad and step mum who have retired!!!

So accept the help when it is offered, but dont expect it to increase with your family size IYKWIM.