I think I see a village a lot differently to other people. I don't see a village as free babysitting. I don't see a village as what I can get from it. I see a village as a connection. I don't keep tabs on my villagers to see what they do for me and what I do for them. And TBH I try and do more for my village rather than expect more from my village. I don't have villagers that will take my children at the drop of a hat, and I don't get upset with said villagers if I can't get help for whatever reason, and I know the same applies if I can't help them. My village first and for most is supportive, its a connection with people that I have that extends from that of acquaintance type relationships. I believe that my children are my responsibility, I am their prime carer. And as someone who doesn't have access to child care, or family that will take my children whenever I would like I have pretty much done it on my own. I'm not a martyr, its just the way it is. But time out doesn't need to be separate from your children. IMO getting out or having people come to visit with their children so they can play can be just as enjoyable as going out for a night out. As can an hour long phone conversation with a girlfriend while you fluff around and do housework. My husband is the person I turn to if I want complete time out. We still try to have "dates" when we can, even if that means me cooking a 3 course meal to be eaten after the kids in bed, lighting some candles and sipping on some red and reconnecting. DS is 3 he has started Kinder this year, and he is loving it. So basically for 3 years I have not had much time to myself, I have not had the cleanest of houses and thats ok. But it was only 3 years. I now have 5 hours a week to do the things I need, and to be honest that is PLENTY of time. And next year it will be 11.5 hours and then after that he will be gone for over 30 hours a week. I honestly think that perhaps people expect too much from their village these days, there is no point in me looking towards another who has a lot of phsyical support from family members and comparing my situation and thinking somehow I am worse off. I am not it is just different, I still have support and connections I just operate differently within my village.

To answer the original question, no I don't think having children should be dependent on the type of support you get from your village. Especially given anything can happen at any time and you are never ever going to be certain that there will be villagers to lend a hand.

I think also that as a society we need to look more at what we can do for our village, and less about what our village can do for us Or I daresay we'll end up with no village at all.