thread: MIL making me feel uneasy

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  1. #1
    Registered User

    Mar 2009
    1,400

    DH was freaked out when my dad told him that it wasn't just his baby....it was everyone's. Now what dear old Pop meant to say was that they were all really excited about having a new grandchild and wanted to help out. What DH heard was 'WE ARE GOING TO INTERFERE AND CRITICISE'

    Bottom line is that your MIL is only going to have access to your bubs on your terms. Sure you may have to hear things you don't want to and feel like you are being judged but honestly I have been shocked by that from complete strangers! I think people feel like they are 'helping' even though they have not been asked.
    My IL's haven't had babies around for 30 years and FIL tried to feed both my newborns BBQ chops . He was just soo excited to have them around. I have struggled with the way they do things at times but am also mindful of the fact that they may not be around for too long and that it is a special relationship for both sides. This takes some reminding at times....but I have tried to be firm but calm about our choices without making a scene, we don't leave the kids on their own as IL's have limited English and that has always freaked me out re emergencies/ambulances etc (ridiculous I know but that is my biggest worry).
    I do think I am way more undertanding of my families wierdness than DH's though so I try to be more relaxed.
    Your MIL seems very excited - I'd be trying to view it as making your life easier and that she now has a common interest with you. (OT that is what happened for my Step mum and I - she has been amazing support). You never know where things will end up.....

    YES it is normal to be super protective - it is a bit scary at times~!!!

    Good luck

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Nov 2006
    Somewhere Over The Rainbow
    3,094

    babe you are not being a control freak

    I wont even let my MIL/FIL take DD for a walk around the block.... and she is 6 months old!

    I hope you can work it out babe - IL's really suck sometimes