For you ladies that lost your Mum awhile ago how long did it take for you to think of them & not burst into tears or feel like your heart would explode with pain?

I know my Mum's passing is still very early & it's normal to feel like this and it probably doesn't help having these pregnancy hormones running through me but every time i think of My Mum i cry or i get this heavy feeling in my heart.
As horrible as it sounds i try not to think of her as it hurts too much & i can't deal with it.

Did/Do you ladies do anything special for Mothers Day, Birthdays etc...
One of my friends suggested baking cupcake & putting bright coloured icing on them for her Birthday this year.(My mum loved anything bright)
For Mothers Day we put some roses in the ocean for her as we scatted her ashes in the ocean & roses were her fav flower.
For Christmas we had a lavender candle for her as lavender was her favorite scent.
For Easter we put flowers in the ocean for her as well.
I don't know what to do for her 1yr passing.....