For you ladies that lost your Mum awhile ago how long did it take for you to think of them & not burst into tears or feel like your heart would explode with pain?

I know my Mum's passing is still very early & it's normal to feel like this and it probably doesn't help having these pregnancy hormones running through me but every time i think of My Mum i cry or i get this heavy feeling in my heart.
As horrible as it sounds i try not to think of her as it hurts too much & i can't deal with it.

Did/Do you ladies do anything special for Mothers Day, Birthdays etc...
One of my friends suggested baking cupcake & putting bright coloured icing on them for her Birthday this year.(My mum loved anything bright)
For Mothers Day we put some roses in the ocean for her as we scatted her ashes in the ocean & roses were her fav flower.
For Christmas we had a lavender candle for her as lavender was her favorite scent.
For Easter we put flowers in the ocean for her as well.
I don't know what to do for her 1yr passing.....
Oh Cheshire, my heart breaks for you hun... Those first couple of years are really hard. I think you just have to do whatever you can to get through it. I was a bit like you in that I tended to try and avoid talking about it and thinking about it. My way of coping was just getting on with my life and living it as fully as I could. In the year after she died DH and I got engaged, did a round the world trip, bought a convertable – basically just lived our lives as fully as we could and stopped putting things off till later. That's what mum always did and there were so many things she wanted to do that she didn't get the opportunity to do.

For me I found my grief to be a very personal thing, so didn't really talk about it much with anyone. On her birthday, mothers day, anniversary etc I would go to the cemetery and tell her about all the things that were happening in my life. I think you just have to do what feels right, if that means baking cup cakes then bake away. If it means time alone to feel miserable then do that... Just do whatever you need to do to get through that minute, that hour, that day, that week etc.

Being pregnant must make it so much harder. I can only imagine. But I'm sure that there will be a part of your mum in your LO. My sister was pregnant when my mum died and even now sometimes when I look into her eyes I momentarily feel like I'm looking into my mums eyes.

I know it's impossible to imagine, but time does make it less raw. Hang in there honey, your mum is there with you whether you can feel it or not (or want to for that matter).