Aww, big hugs to you, sweetie. I know exactly how you feel. But strangely, I would never have felt this way if I hadn't had *some* success in BFing - DD1 was FF'd and EBM for 6 weeks, then exclusively FF'd, and I never ever ever had even the slightest feeling of negativity or guilt about it - it wasn't a choice, it was the one and only option I had available to me. Simple. My child was fed, she was healthy. What more could anybody want from me?
Then DD2 was born, no complications, and my milk came in straight away. We've successfully BF'd for 5 months but at this point, I'm supplementing her with formula (it's probably 4 bottles & 3 or 4 BF's in a 24-hour period) and I'm getting all those icky feelings that I'm somehow doing her wrong. But then I only have to look at how happy she is after a bottle (my milk supply is decreasing rapidly because I'm losing weight, and in turn DD2 is refusing the breast unless she wants boobie to put her to sleep, so I need to save my milk for bedtime so she doesn't get frustrated and worked up when she doesn't get a good feed), and realise how much more relaxed and happy we are during the fewer BFs we do have, and I know I'm making the best decision for us both. I refuse to let anybody try to tear that choice down and make me feel bad because I *can* BF this time. That's not the point - those who insist that I 'keep trying' are not the ones cradling a kicking and screaming baby, in tears, knowing that they have no milk and a hungry baby. It would be detrimental to both DD2 and I to persist with exclusive BFing, and my aim is to do whatever makes her happiest, even if that means she misses out on the benefits of being exclusively BF'd for the first 6 months.

I too have found that my IRL network has been nothing but absolutely supportive in this situation - a lot of my friends have had what they consider to be negative experiences in BFing and are glad that I'm taking steps to avoid the heartache they went through. My mother, I think, is a bit jealous that I've BF'd successfully for so long as she didn't BF my brother or I, and as a bonus it means she gets to spend more time with DD2 because now she can be away from me for more than half an hour at a time (she refused to take EBM at all). DH can see that we're both happier and that makes him happy, as he can't stand the stress hanging in the air when he's home. But I've been reluctant to say anything on BB because while I know that the vast majority of members are caring, supportive and just want the best for me and my child, I know that sometimes tactless or unthinking comments slip through and while I shouldn't let them get to me... they kind of do, if I'm feeling fragile.

I'm afraid I can't offer much advice on how to deal with these kinds of comments, other than to try and shake them off and focus on the ones that you do find positive And know that you're DEFINITELY not alone in having to/wanting to FF your baby - I personally see absolutely nothing wrong with it! I think society in general needs to be more educated as to the benefits of BFing, but if all else fails, formula's not a bad substitute - and you've given it your best shot, so please, PLEASE give yourself a big pat on the back for making it as far as you did. BFing may be natural and 'best' for baby, but it sure as heck ain't easy!