Some things I've learnt:

1. Those on the spectrum notice EVERYTHING. For instance, my husband can smell a pooey nappy from the next room, when I can't smell it despite having a good nose when only a metre away. They just see the world differently. It's what makes him a fabulous process auditor. He has described he way he thinks now as thinking in parallels, where he thinks like himself but can flick the switch by inverting his thought patterns in order to get others. It's something he has learnt to do after years of practice but it wasn't easy for him. But here is the crux of his way of thinking that makes it so difficult for other people to get him and for him to get them. When we used to look at the same problem I, from a non-AS POV would normally come up with one or two solutions, he on the other hand comes up with 25+ solutions - each valid in their own way, each with their own weaknesses. Having so many options, he would pick which one he thought was the best to focus on, which was usually the opposite of what everyone else would have generally picked, and because it was so different and not the most obvious to everyone else it often led to confusion. So in order to not get confused or need to deal with a huge amount of information that he seemed to see, he would simply switch off. Lucky I'm kinky and find different a turn on, so I've always appreciated the seemingly left field ideas/comments, although I did use to get upset by their delivery but once he learnt his way wasn't the only way either it was much better. Anyway, building confidence by encouraging different without implying it's wrong is really important, which is easier said than done.