I feel your pain! DD is starting to do this. Unfortunately DS is still doing it! Solutions vary. Food - first choice is given. If they won't choose, I choose. If they don't eat it they go hungry. DS often goes to bed hungry because he doesn't like his dinner (he does!). It is incredibly frustrating but DS now knows that choices are final. I try to ignore these tantrums as they are over nothing. I will comfort if they get really upset but generally they move on pretty quick. DD can go on for quite a while sometimes and it drives me nuts but she won't be comforted, won't say what she wants, then all of a sudden she's fine & goes off to play or eat, completely forgetting the tantrum ever happened. It's baffling!

Other things like clothes - I humour them to a point. If we are going anywhere, I just let it go. It's not a battle worth fighting. DD has been refusing PJs/nappy in the evening. So she runs around nudey. But when it gets to bedtime, she's asking for boobie - I say no boobie until you're dressed. I win that one lol! In the mornings it's harder as we have to be out by a certain time so I generally try to encourage a choice, and if they don't co-operate, I choose and put it on them despite their protests. DS is pretty good with this now. If DS moans about my choice of clothes - he must put them away & choose his own. If he won't choose, he wears my choice. I tried a reward chart with DS at one stage but it didn't work for us. It might work for you though.