Yes, I do judge. I dont' think we can help it really, but what matters is what we do about it once we find ourselves judging people.
For example I tend to be very harsh on people I know. Not just those whose parenting styles are not like mine as I know they may be doing what I consider the "wrong" thing but for the right reasons, ie they love their baby and are trying to do what they think is best for him. No, I tend to be (privately) judgemental of those who do things like let their 9 month old baby eat most of a Pizza Hut pizza on her own , I couldn't believe it when I heard it but they were boasting about it cause they were proud of her "achievement". I certainly had a lot to say about that, to DH only.
On the other hand I try very hard not to judge people I don't know. Like if I see someone in a shopping centre doing something I don't do. Mind you, it's very hard not to judge a woman shouting and swearing at her kids. Also I'm like Myson, I'd never let my child roll around the floor of a shopping centre food court, those places are filthy! But DD did crawl around the floor of the church on Sundays as I knew it was vacuumed and kept reasonably clean.
I also try not to feel judged which I think is something that affects how we judge others. Like my 3.5 month old sleeps 8 hours a night but it didn't occur to me to feel judged by what Mumiloo said as I just assumed she knew that the mothers in her mothers group had actually practiced CC and that's why their babies slept through.
This whole judging thing is a bit of a minefield really. Especially when you feel really strongly about some things, like gentle parenting.
Olive's mum and Eugenia- lucky you! When I was talking about someone from mothers group it was someone who actually said that she had left her baby to cry for 2 hours and even though it was really hard now they were sleeping through the night. When I am in a good mood and thinking logically though, I don't judge her or my cousin- they are just doing what they think is best and what they have been taught to do by books etc. What I was trying to say was that the nasty judgemental part of me seems to come out when I am feeling frustrated about how things are going in my own family- maybe there is a bit of doubt there about whether I am doing the right thing, or a feeling of "if only it was that easy". I think when I am judgemental it is more about me than them. I am trying to be more aware of this.
Last edited by mumiloo; February 13th, 2009 at 08:13 AM.
: add stuff
mumiloo - IKWYM about other parents doing things 'the easy way' when you have gone the long gentle road. Those people may judge us and think 'god they are wussy parents.' I think this thread is good in that it makes you evaluate the way you think about others. I obviously jumped to the conclusion that you were talking in general terms regarding sleep but eugenie took it to mean that you knew the people in your MG practiced CC so it's interesting how we interpret things differently and how that affects our jugdement as well. Sorry I misinterpreted yor comment.
, I couldn't believe it when I heard it but they were boasting about it cause they were proud of her "achievement". I certainly had a lot to say about that, to DH only.
Reply With Quote
When I was talking about someone from mothers group it was someone who actually said that she had left her baby to cry for 2 hours and even though it was really hard now they were sleeping through the night. When I am in a good mood and thinking logically though, I don't judge her or my cousin- they are just doing what they think is best and what they have been taught to do by books etc. What I was trying to say was that the nasty judgemental part of me seems to come out when I am feeling frustrated about how things are going in my own family- maybe there is a bit of doubt there about whether I am doing the right thing, or a feeling of "if only it was that easy". I think when I am judgemental it is more about me than them. I am trying to be more aware of this.
Bookmarks