I totally ignore all behaviour i don't like unless it's dangerous in which case i remove her from danger but make no comment or eye-contact. So if she throws food i say "you don't have to eat it but please don't throw it". Then i lighten my tone and move on immediately. I also operate 3 strikes rule. So if she throws her food 3 times, having been warned twice "If you throw your food mumma will take it away" then i do and if she's hungry it's tough!

I have a 30 minute exclusion, because i don't think she remembers much specifically beyond that - like if i offer breakfast and she tosses it about and i take it away, 30 minutes feels a LONG time to be hungry for her, while i still know she won't starve. After that she's allowed to snack (but we only snack on fruit or veggies) since she's likely to have forgotten why she's hungry by then.

Luckily she doesn't throw her food much anymore, so it's probably a phase you're suffering

As for choices, well, within reason she can chose - breakfast is usually toast or porridge and fruit. Every day she gets to choose the fruit (usually a banana unless we have grapes, which she loves) and i decide if i'm giving her toast or porridge. She never has to finish anything - my mum lives through WWII and i spent most of my childhood mealimes sitting miserably, forcing cold, unwanted food into my mouth. I am determined to let her feed herself intuitively and not make an issue out of food. So, at mealtimes she usually has to sit at table with me, in her highchair, she can snack wherever she wants unless it's messy (banana and yogurt for instance). Sometimes we don't eat together (like if i'm going to work out i need to have eaten well 3 hours before i hit the road/pool/gym, so then she eats alone) and in that case she's allowed to play and just come to me (i keep hold of the bowl of food) for a forkful every now and then. When she stops coming i keep offering until she declines, then i take it away. There are no "exclusion" zones in the house, though i do try to keep her in the living room and kitchen because the floors are laminate and clean easy!

As for being picky...well, i guess the most effective way i've found of getting her to eat is to fill myself a plate, curiosity always makes her determined not to miss out on anything! I also limit her. So i KNOW she'll always eat toast but if she doesn't eat what she's offered she can only have fruit in between, and she'll be hungry. She's still VERY flexible with her food and enjoys chilli, curry, fish, even raw sushi, all kinds of fruit and veggies, you name it, but i'm prepared for this to change in the future.

There are still days when i wonder how she can still possibly be walking around on the tiny amount of calories she's consumed but she's always on the 50th%ile for weight so i try not to worry.

WHat a novel! Hope some of it helped.

Bx