I should add though, I don't have a destructive child. She is not physical in her response to things, but very verbal.
I'm going to change my definition of DS from 'destructive' to 'demonstrative' or 'exploratory'! It just creates an unfair prejudice against him from other people. His goal is not to destroy, it's just what can happen when he doesn't understand the properties of an item, or the propriety of it. It sets him up as having an intent that he doesn't actually have. And it demonises him. When I know he CAN take great care with things that have been explained to him, or that he's figured out.
So, this is me moving away from that terminology!