I'm not as good at this as I would like to be....

[BhoysGirl]

I'm weighing in too, this is fun

DS1 is happily scoffing into last night's risotto. DS2 is refusing to eat said risotto, and I'll contemplating letting him just have the bl**dy chocolate to get some peace & quiet. I always buy him sushi rolls at the shopping centre, otherwise he screams about wanting them and it's embarrassing. I let him have a jam sandwich at lunchtime, just to get him to eat something.... I'm contemplating buying white bread for DS1's school sandwiches instead of wholegrain, because he really really doesn't like wholegrain and only eats the smallest bit. If I use whitebread he'll probably eat the whole sandwich. I should just stick it out because maybe by year 12 he'll have resigned himself to wholegrain.

I tape Octonauts just in case we miss it & I need a back up "good mum" moment. I use TV way more than I every wanted to, even though I know they get over "needing" it and play better if they don't have it on too much. I hide the remotes before school though, so that's maybe one tick in favour of good parenting.

I don't clean DS2's teeth nearly enough. I have a nasty suspicion that he's got the start of tooth decay on one of the upper ones. This is really really really bad parenting and I think I'm going to feel guilty about this for the rest of my life.

I bed-share with both boys because it's the only way the household gets a good night's sleep & I can't even begin to contemplate the hours of night-time effort to break this habit. Path of least resistance.

I yell way more than I ever thought I would. Because I'm sick of being ignored in favour of tv. I must also swear sometimes (not that often!), because the exact same expressions get said back to me. I laugh when this happens, although I do try to explain that it's really not nice to use bad language.

When they disappear from me in a shopping centre or a supermarket, sometimes I kind of hope that they'll really get lost, just enough to get upset & worried, so that they maybe learn a lesson. Because I'm sick of nagging them about sticking close. I hate going shopping with them both at the same time these days, it's just hard work.


But for all the less than perfect parenting, I also know that I love them with every fibre, and I know that they know they are loved, and they're ultimately happy kids. So for all the rubbish, I'm probably doing a few things right along the way. And kids are very forgiving & understanding

[TaRhLi.]

I wish I was the parent I dreamed I would be, but alas not in our household.

I currently refer to myself as the 'Screaming Banshee', as it seems I spend most of my day yelling to
a: Get the attention of Miss 3 1/2 yr old who zones out when I need her to do something ie: get dressed in the morning
b: Telling the twins off for trashing my kitchen (this means helping themselves to whatever food they can find and then throwing the rest all over the floor
c: Trying to get Miss 3 1/2 to stop with the constant interrogations, whinging, whining, sulky and general 'doing my head in'

and I'm sure there are more that I could add but I've just cooked dinner and like very night, try to serve them up good food which ends up on the floor so my brain is fryed for the day...

[Mrs O'M]

Gosh just by admitting you are not the perfect gentle parent makes you pretty amazing.

I more often than not start feeding DS something 'Healthy' & something he can feed himself, when he dislikes it, throws it on the floor, rubs all over his face and hair I more often than not resort to puréed stuff just to make sure he is eating, at dinner his main source of nutrition comes from soy ice cream

I get to the point most days when going to the park means I have 2 minutes when he is not all over me.

I have resorted to putting him in his high chair and having him sit with me in the bathroom so I don't have to listen to his crying when I am gone for 30 secs.

I roll over and pretend I am dead asleep some nights when he wakes up for the 3rd or fourth time and make sure I kick dh so he knows its his turn, even though I know that DS settles faster and easier with me.

That's just the last 24 hours, so I hear you on the less than perfect thing

[Starfish]

Ugh. "perfect" parents. I wrote a blog post once about what I think of them. basically, if there is really someone out there that really gets it "right" all the time, imagine how boring their life must be... not to mention that all people learn best from their mistakes, so a parent that sometimes does things wrong and is then honest and open with their children about it is imo a "better" parent than someone who gets it right all the time... if for no other reason than seeing parents lost it sometimes teaches children that it is okay to make mistakes and that it is normal to lose it sometimes, etc...

I've lost it a few times. I even hit DD a couple of times (once just because she was generally annoying me, and not even for anything specific). DD is currently going through a phase where she talks ALL the time and asks me to do things for her all the time (things that she is able to do herself), especially if I am attending to DS... I try not to lash out, but it is so frustrating... Grrr. I then feel bad that I don't enjoy spending time with her... It's hard...

[Cass72]

Milly, I make mistakes all the time. Knowing what I know now, it seems my mum also made mistakes and, yep, you can bet your life on it that my grandmother also made mistakes during her child raising years.

It's not easy being a parent. You have some of the most unbelievable highs and some seemingly endless lows. How can you love this little person so much and then in the next instant be so infuriated by something that they've done.

My kids know that even if I'm having a pink fit over something I still love them with my whole being. We don't hold grudges in our house (thankfully). I just never go to sleep on an argument or let them leave the house without a kiss and "I love you". When I know that I have been completely unreasonable, I'll talk to them, explain why I was cross and apologise for pitching a fit. Good manners never hurt anyone and I expect the same in return.

Go easy on yourself. It's not like each child has their own special manual. Raising kids is a work in progress. And one day we can sit back and watch our children raise their own and make the same mistakes or perhaps some new ones.

[Rouge]

OK I have older children but here's a few for me...

I get my 11 year old to listen to DS read his reader often so I can cook dinner. Luckily she's an advanced reader... but it hasn't hindered him at all. And when he was little I often let her read to him at night, yet with her we did the whole "1000" books before school thing... Poor second child.

I have been known on occasion to go to 7-11 to get a pre packaged sandwich and unpackage and put in their lunchbox as we've forgotten to get bread

I forget notices ALL the time. I have friends that actually call me to remind me so my kids don't miss out. Miss 11 is so traumatised now she literally will not let me be until I have signed a form THE DAY she brings it home.

When my kids were little and I needed to make important calls I would often hold a wet facecloth by the phone and everytime either child wanted me I'd pretend I needed to wash their face. They'd run away obviously. The downside it back fired after a while and now DS can't handle sticky hands or any dirt whatsoever *facepalm*.

When I'm babysitting other people's kids (little ones) and they are sharing a room with mine we play the "Who can stay awake the longest game." They all have to close their eyes but stay awake. If they open their eyes they lose, if they go to sleep first they lose, if they talk they lose. The winner picks breakfast. I do the say so they can hear "Ok I'm going to check to see if they are still awake" thing every 5 minutes. By the third time I go in they are asleep. And I always make up who won, or tell them it's a tie. The regular cousins etc who stay over now ask to play the game. And I started it because I hate doing the whole "GO TO SLEEP." till 10pm at night. They still believe to this day that it's an actual game and not a manipulative way to keep them quiet, and it makes them fall asleep quickly. Try staying awake with your eyes closed when you actually have to

My son was an escape artist... at 18 months he escaped out the back to the front (chasing a neighbours cat) and climbed a neighbours tree. I literally had to get him to jump to me in order to get him because he was too high. He also escaped a school hall (with 5 parents watching him) and went down to a tyre shop down the road (at the same age). And wandered down our street twice (once giving a friend who was watching him a heart attack - she was 40 weeks pregnant and pulled something running down the road). People often thought it was because I was somehow a neglectful parent. Even my MIL. Until we went to visit her and he climbed out a window at her house... in the middle of the night.

When the kids were little and doing my head in and I needed a break I used to lift out nearly every DVD we had and tell them to pick one. If they started to argue I would tell them they couldn't watch something unless they agreed. And they couldn't fight or they couldn't watch one. This would often take them 30 minutes to decide. In which time I could spend 30 minutes doing something else

When DD had eczema as a baby I used to get so upset because she would hurt herself scratching, we even had to bandage her arms, sometimes I would lose it and I would yell to stop. One day I had a meltdown (I was stressed in traffic) and I frightened her she started hyperventilating and threw up. We were on a freeway. I had to pull over and clean her up. Worst mummy moment EVER.

At 3 DD had a doll house. And a friend was visiting she was playing and yelling at doll children. I asked her why she was doing that she replied "Because this is the MEAN mummy." (points to another doll) "But this is the nice mummy." I asked her which one am I she said both :/ Totally embarrassing, even worse a friend was there and witnessed the whole thing.

I promise you if you go back over my posts here over the past 10 years you'll find these stories and thousands more. You'll find my posts full of meltdowns, and not coping. You'll find it all. I think it's part in parcel with being the parent of younger children. And then as they get older, as I said the challenges are different. Still there but different. And by then you get better at coping and better at reflecting guilt

But I want you to remember this... following on from other posts. Proud mummy moments make it easier. It's not about being perfect, it's about acknowledging the positive. I found the more I did this the more easier the tough moments were to handle. And it's also a good way of knowing what works. I can't tell you the number of times I'd start losing the plot thinking they never listened etc and I was getting upset all the times. I'd look back and then I'd go backwards start at the beginning do all the things I did when they were a year younger and work my way back up and sure enough it worked. I still yell, I still have grumpy moments. I am not perfect, but I acknowledge my downfalls to myself and to them. They forgive me for them because they see that my flaws are no different to their own and we work towards making them right. I'm cringing now typing this because I think this sort of "sharing" is what is seen as "being perfect". But it's not. It's just sharing what works for me. Doesn't mean it works all the time, nor does it mean I put it into practice 100% of the time. But it's what works when I do. And I will ALWAYS post my positives, I don't have many negatives behaviourally atm (wait till DD hits mid teens ), and no that doesn't mean I'm perfect. Nor am I some parenting guru. It just means I as a person like to share what works, not just relate about the tough times. And relating is important too, otherwise we go through our parenting journey feeling like we are failing.

[Cassius2]

When I'm babysitting other people's kids (little ones) and they are sharing a room with mine we play the "Who can stay awake the longest game." They all have to close their eyes but stay awake. If they open their eyes they lose, if they go to sleep first they lose, if they talk they lose. The winner picks breakfast. I do the say so they can hear "Ok I'm going to check to see if they are still awake" thing every 5 minutes. By the third time I go in they are asleep. And I always make up who won, or tell them it's a tie. The regular cousins etc who stay over now ask to play the game. And I started it because I hate doing the whole "GO TO SLEEP." till 10pm at night. They still believe to this day that it's an actual game and not a manipulative way to keep them quiet, and it makes them fall asleep quickly. Try staying awake with your eyes closed when you actually have to

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

That.Is.Gold.