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Thread: Drug-Free Birth

  1. #19

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    Wow, there are some scary vit K stories on that site! Hmm, if I showed that to DH baby won't be having vit K, and I must admit I'm still not convinced we need to give it, but I guess we have lots of time to make up our minds!



    Thanks for all the info Kelly, I really hope DH appreciates all the thought I'm putting into this! He's not really done much more than start to realise we're having a baby, poor love.

  2. #20

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    Ryn I've had five babies 3 totally drug free . It can be done. Just remember though it is you perogative to change your mind if you want to

  3. #21
    zoe Guest

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    Hi Ryn,
    As Dee said it's totally up to you, and it definitely can be done. I didn't have any drugs either with both but it wasn't by choice for my first (I asked but didn't receive!).

    I would just go in with a totally open mind - see how you go. You have definitely done yourself a favour by asking questions and preparing yourself. For my first I was in total denial and when I went into labour I went into shock and cried my way through it!(Fell pregnant accidently after knowing DH only 2months at age of 22).

    For my second, I knew that it could be better and got educated. I read books about the best positions, about hypnotherapy etc. The best piece of advice I heard was that the pain is a positive pain - it's pushing out your baby. If you think of that, and rather than completely tense up when contractions are happening and try to relax (I know it sounds ridiculous but it's true!) they are manageable. I put this into practice with my second and the birth was almost enjoyable and such a positive experience compared to the nightmare of my first! I had a couple of hours of pre-labour contractions that weren't intense as I relaxed, breathed, didn't get stressed out and made sure DH wasn't either. All of a sudden I went into transition and my baby was out in 2 pushes (in 5 minutes). I'm sure it was because this time I was prepared, positive and also NOT LYING ON MY BACK!!! (Standing!) Not TMI I hope!

    My point is, educate yourself, maybe try some meditation/yoga (I don't know anything about that) and be open minded. If you need drugs you will decide what's right for you during your labour. Just remember you got pregnant to have a baby, not to experience labour. It doesn't really matter how you get there! Oh, also there's this good book by Naomi Wolf called "misconceptions" all about the interventionist-culture of hospitals that I read during my bitter days following my first birth!!

    Zoe.

  4. #22

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    I've just gone off drugs even more! A friend who was very, very pro-drugs during her pregnancy gave birth at the weekend (huzzah!) - she has a lovely baby boy. But I know the hospital here would have loaded her up with drugs, as requested, and she needed the baby sucked out with a vacuum pump. I do not want any intervention at all, certainly not my baby being pulled out because I'm out of it: the more I hear the less I want drugs.

    I know I could end up changing my mind, but the hospital here is so pro-intervention, even with my "normal" friends (not the high-risk obstetric clinic patients) have all had some sort of intervention. I am avoiding this hospital like the plague when it's my time! I am not running even the slightest risk that they manage to bully DH into making me have intervention for my baby.

    Also, Zoe, I've been reading all the books too! They're fab and I'm not at all scared about giving birth in the abstract, just don't know what it's going to be like so it's sort of exciting and scarey at the same time, like a new rollercoaster or something! Pregnancy yoga seems to me a bit of a waste as it's all stuff I can do standing on my head anyway, but I'll include it in my workouts and life anyway.

  5. #23

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    Hi Ryn,

    Do you have the option of the 3x oral vitamin K does in the UK?

    I planned a drug free birth, and ended up having gas, but the hospital were really good - I had a midwife only delivery (my ob was on leave) and I basically had to talk them into giving me the gas once I did make up my mind.

    So I had a birth plan which said 'don't offer me drugs - I'll ask if I want them.'

  6. #24

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    Well, after talking with the midwife yesterday DH has decided that we're going to the birth centre as he's not clearing up after me, baby is to have the injection in case of head bleeding and that I shouldn't believe that doctors at the hospital intervene for their sakes rather than the mother's all the time.

    I am a bit upset about not having a home birth, but realistically I know I couldn't have a baby then in the next hour clean up the house, so I suppose it's a good thing. I'm putting on the plan not to offer me drugs, I think the midwife was a bit surprised at the force with which I said I didn't want to go to the hospital or have an epidural! DH still thinks I'll need medical intervention, which pees me off no end, because there's no way I'm going to be so drugged up I can't spell my baby's name, or can't push my baby out and need a vacuum, or whatever else.

    I just think it's weird that you spend months not having any drugs at all (alcohol, caffine, nicotine, painkillers...) then with about two minutes to go, the doctors want to pump you and the baby full of drugs! Just seems a bit counterintuitive to me.

  7. #25

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    Do you have any other support people Ryn that will support YOU and your wishes? Unfortunately when there is a conflict of interests it can play out in labour.
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
    Author of Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know
    Follow me in 2015 as I go Around The World + Kids!
    Forever grateful to my incredible Mod Team and many wonderful members who have been so supportive since 2003.

  8. #26

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    DH is OK with me not wanting drugs, and I don't really mind going to the birth centre, but I don't have anyone else. My MiL wouldn't want to do that, not that I'd really want her to, and I won't ask my mum as then she'll try to get me to have the birth she wants, it was hard enough overruling her about balloons and fireworks at my wedding, so can't do it while I don't have all my wits about me! My mum thinks I should have medical intervention too... maybe if I tell DH that he'll go off the idea? He doesn't like his MiL at all. Just can't believe I've gone through all my life being a "big girl" and now everyone's telling me I'm too small to give birth! I think not. The only person to ever call me tiny was the person fitting me for my wedding dress, everyone else just sees big. Not fat, just big - hence the surprise I had a 24" waist by the dressmaker.

    I had so many injections as a child, and give blood and stuff now, so I know that needles don't hurt (unless you're sewing and jab one up your nose, as I did last night); I'd rather not go with vit K but it doesn't upset me too much that baby has to have it, just I want to be there for it, not have baby taken away to be weighed and measured and jabbed. They can do all that in front of me.

    Edit: Actually, Kelly, thinking about it, you're very right (as usual!). DH keeps trying to get me to take painkillers for headaches, well pre-baby he did, so why on earth do I think he'll tell me not to have drugs when I'm in labour? Maybe I should try to get him to have a proper baby and labour talk with me.

  9. #27

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    Ryn, I was lucky. My midwife and mother cleaned up all of the mess. Within a couple of hours all the washing was done and all wash clean again. You'd never have thought a baby was born not long before hand there.

  10. #28

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    That first paragraph you posted Ryn just had me worried - if he thinks the hospital will be doing what they are for your benefit only, and you are sure you don't want something (be it pain relief or an intervention) then is this going to be a problem for you? You don't want to be arguing about it in labour or being upset as you feel pushed into something you don't want - and trust me - there are some doctors who aren't afraid to rattle off the 'd' word (die) in order to push their case for intervention. How quickly is he going to buckle with that? Will he have the facts, confidence or tools to know otherwise? Do you want someone on your side who can advocate what you want and at the same time, help facilitate communication in order to find out if it really needs to be done NOW and know any alternatives? It's YOUR body. Both of your baby yes, but your body they are playing with and YOU make the decisions.

    You have seen the stats which compare hospital to homebirth in terms of intervention and as I always say, I am not saying any one is better, but doesn't that show you how much unneccesary stuff is going on and what we are truly capable of? Perhaps you should print off the stats for him so he can see that the risk is the same but the difference is you are more likely to have interventions in hospital and homebirth has a rate of 0 maternal mortality in most places? (well none I have seen have stats with more than 0 maternal mortality!)
    Last edited by BellyBelly; July 12th, 2006 at 06:02 PM.
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
    Author of Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know
    Follow me in 2015 as I go Around The World + Kids!
    Forever grateful to my incredible Mod Team and many wonderful members who have been so supportive since 2003.

  11. #29

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    I am starting to worry about this - I know that often the labour is induced/speeded up/forceps etc used for the benefit of the doctors and midwives, not the mum, but DH refuses flat out to believe that - because there would be more "people like us" who would complain. Not if we were told I or the baby were going to die, then DH would be pressuring me into being cut up or having whatever else done to me, whereas I won't believe them and would really resent it. I really don't believe that by asking for no intervention then we'll get it.

    I think I'm going to prevent DH from being in the labour room with me. I'll go to the birthing centre but have him not with me until the baby's born. I don't really want him there anyway, so that won't be a problem for me. I'd rather do this with just a midwife than with a big support team anyway. I'll make him look at the stats too just to prove my case!

  12. #30

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    You do have a long time to go until the birth Ryn, he just needs some time to learn too. You are so lucky to have the Active Birth Centre in the UK - why not go together and do a course? Will he come to some independant birth classes with you? I can locate some others if you like, there's no need to kick him out completely unless it's going to be a real problem and he doesn't want to be there but it's early days yet. It's why I get so many calls from last minute mums - all of a sudden it hits them that they are about to give birth and they aren't sure they have the support they want / need. So let him have a chance and time to develop his beliefs too, but if he is dead set against you, you can also consider a doula (check out the doulas UK website) or private midwife who will help you with things or if worst comes to worst, you can decide against him being there.
    Last edited by BellyBelly; July 12th, 2006 at 06:35 PM.
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
    Author of Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know
    Follow me in 2015 as I go Around The World + Kids!
    Forever grateful to my incredible Mod Team and many wonderful members who have been so supportive since 2003.

  13. #31

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    I'm starting to look int NCT (National Childbirth Trust) Courses, but they're all quite a distance away by the looks of things. I'll e-mail them tonight, but I know if we have to drive a half-hour to the course DH will pooh-pooh the idea, especially when they cost 104! That's about AU$250, and we get free NHS courses in November-December time.

    I'll also look into active birth centres - I'm looking at going to Crowborough, who can't do inductions, forceps, ventouse, accelerations or caesarians; they're 12 miles from my hospital, which is 2 miles from home but anyway; they seem to be OK with drug-free stuff, but I can't find much more info without giving them a call, which I will be doing later this week!

    I don't know if I'm altogether happy to pay someone to watch me scream in pain (LOL, clearly that's not the Doula job description), but it is worth a thought if I can't talk DH round.

  14. #32

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    hehehe we don't watch you scream. A doula will evaluate the situation and if you are screaming because you feel out of control or scared, she will help to get you back on track and to help you feel safe. But if you are making noise as part of an energy release, then she will let you go - letting go during labour is beneficial. There is generally a difference between labour noises and screaming, and helping a woman get back on track can make a big difference to her in labour. I'll see what I can find out about good courses in your area. One of my clients is actually going to the active birth centre at the moment, she's due in a month or so and will be moving back to Australia very soon - she will live a suburb away from me. Can't wait to meet her!

    ps. I mean Janet Balaskas's (the founder of the Active Birth Movement) centre - she operates out of the UK.
    Last edited by BellyBelly; July 12th, 2006 at 07:07 PM.
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
    Author of Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know
    Follow me in 2015 as I go Around The World + Kids!
    Forever grateful to my incredible Mod Team and many wonderful members who have been so supportive since 2003.

  15. #33

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    Thanks for all that, Kelly! I'm in the RH16 area of Sussex if that helps you at all. I'm flitting between really looking forward to giving birth and being scared that it's all going to be other people making my decisions, so I'm really keen on getting all the control back.

  16. #34

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    You have all the control already. And above all, you have power to say no. Nothing is beyond your control and you need to consent to anything being done. Of course, it would be silly to think that there is no chance of intervention, I think all of us would accept it if it meant the life of our own baby. This is why it is so important to have carers you trust and support who share your same philosophies. They both need to listen to your fears and support you in having the birth you want - something you do have to work bloody hard for. You need to educate yourself as best possible and feel confident with the choices you make. Have you read 'New Active Birth' or 'The Thinking Woman's Guide to A Better Birth?' Both are great. Don't bother with, 'What to Expect When You Are Expecting.'
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
    Author of Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know
    Follow me in 2015 as I go Around The World + Kids!
    Forever grateful to my incredible Mod Team and many wonderful members who have been so supportive since 2003.

  17. #35

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    I've not read either of those, but have been directed to a book entitled "Natural Midwifery" about having a natural birth - it's American, but I can't remember the author. I think I'll be stocking up on reading material this weekend - good thing I have an age to wait around on trains and planes on Monday! I'm getting all excited about this again, which is good - I just hope that DH will start paying an interest too. I might have to get him his own baby book so he doesn't feel left out LOL. He's just about gotten used to pregnancy, I don't think he's thought about birth yet.

    Shame we mostly studies nematode, xenopus, salamander and drosophila development at Uni: all my textbooks have pictures of how frogs grow etc, but very little on what my baby's doing! Ah well, I can coo over mouse bone development just as much as I can do human I suppose.

  18. #36

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    Ryn I agree with Kelly in having a doula, I didnt have one, but my mum is a midwife, and was my support person, and DH too, but I made sure they both knew, and agreed with what I wanted ( no intervention unless desperate) IF I didnt have my mum I would have paid for a doula, it seems a lot of money, but this is your childs life long memories, and yours!!!!!! This is soooo important . YOU NEED TO HAVE THE BIRTH YOU DESIRE you will regret it otherwise. I have been on a website where the ladies cry on their childs birthday, due to the trauma they experienced at the hands of the health professionals, dont let this happen to you
    You are travelling the right path by looking into it now, and I eagerly follow your journey, and wish you the best in finding the birth you need.

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