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Thread: Drug-Free Birth

  1. #73

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    Thanks Lisa - I'm still working on DH with this one! I did get your e-mail and as soon as he's decided we're going to have one then I'll give them a call. I just have to wait for it to be his decision now...


  2. #74

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    OR Ryn, maybe you could give one a call and she might have some ideas on how to sway DH???

    Goodluck hun

  3. #75

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    Heya, just want to offer my support. Like you, they'll have to drag me tooth-and-nail to the hospital and I'll be screaming bloody murder while they do it!!! I'm having a homebirth, and none of this attemt a natural childbirth or try without drugs nonsense. I'm simply going to do it. Good luck and I hope your hubby realises soon that it's not his decision to make, and it's not his place to "let" or "not let" you do anything. It's you who is going to birth this baby, not him!!

  4. #76

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    I agree that it is nobody's place to "let" or "not let" anyone of decision making age do anything BUT it is his baby too, yes he is not the one giving birth (gosh if guys gave birth we'd never hear the end of it) but I DO think he has a right to an opinion on how his baby is born. All sorts of things can go wrong, noone is saying dont have a homebirth but I dont think doing it by yourself or with just DH (who is obviously scared) is the way to go, have a natural birth with no drugs but do it with some experienced support, then next baby you'll be experienced so you can be in a better spot to decide if you want to be alone or have help.

  5. #77

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    I see your point of view, but I disagree. My husband has no say in how I choose to birth my baby. I firmly believe he shouldn't. If has a problem with it, then I'd rather he wasn't there. I simply wouldn't risk the experience I'm likely to have in a hospital to satisfy his fears.

  6. #78

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    No one has told Ryn to go to a hospital.
    Have you thought about the experience you might have if something goes wrong and you are by yourself? Also what about your baby, there are 3 people involved you, DH and the baby, what if something happens and your baby needs help?
    All I am saying is that for a first time it would probably be wiser to at least have an experienced person in the house... maybe even if that experienced person is just someone who has had a baby before? It just seems poor Ryn may not have the help or support of anyone, I know they probably birthed by themselves in the jungle and in old fashion times, but how many babies and mums may have died unnecessarily?
    I think in this day and age it is not necessary to take the risk of not having help available if and when it is needed.

  7. #79

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    Just a reminder that this is a Gentle Parenting forum and for those who are pro-gentle parenting, in this instance, birth... It is not a place to scaremonger about homebirth. I posted earlier but it must have gotten lost, but studies have shown that homebirth poses just as much risk as hospital birth, the difference being hospital birth has a much higher rate of intervention which often leads to further interventions or complications. Its also noted that often when things go wrong in a birth as a result of an intervention, then something drastic has to be done to save the situation, it only makes the situation look dire and modern medicine saved the day. There is a place for it, it's very important, but women also need to know the possible complications that can result from intervention, inductions etc. For a normal, healthy pregnancy, homebirth is perfectly safe; it can take the same amount of time to transfer to hospital as it can being there already and waiting for things to be set up.
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
    Author of Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know
    Follow me in 2015 as I go Around The World + Kids!
    Forever grateful to my incredible Mod Team and many wonderful members who have been so supportive since 2003.

  8. #80

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    Just so there are no misunderstandings I am so PRO homebirth and drug free births, I have heard so much about working with the pain not against it.
    I am more afraid of someone being alone at home for their first baby not really knowing what to expect and what signs to look out for. I would not say go to a hospital if it looks like things are getting difficult or get intervention. Just that having an experienced person around would not be a bad idea especially if DH is like my DH and may not be in a state to be supportive/help if I am in pain or trouble.

  9. #81

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    You have already gotten some great advice in this thread; I just wanted to throw my 2 cents worth in

    I have birthed four babies. With the first two I had pethidine and gas at a birth centre, with the third and fourth I had home waterbirths. In my experience, warm water immersion runs rings around drugs. I found the pethidine and gas were mildly helpful in my first birth but did nothing but make me sick in my second. I am a bit more educated now and wonder if the breastfeeding issues I had with my first two babies were related to the pethidine I had in labour. I guess it's a case of "if I knew then what I know now".

    When I had my last two babies at home, as soon as I kneeled into the pool of warm water the pain floated away... it was amazing!

    Oh, and as far as cleaning up after a homebirth, no one expects a woman to clean up an hour after giving birth! I suppose it depends on the midwife but mine did loads of laundry, pegged them out, helped hubby cook breaky, helped empty and deflate the pool and move all the furniture back into place, etc. I lay on the lounge with bubs in arms and watched them toil!

    My husband was initially not keen on the idea of homebirth. Like many people he thought it was dangerous. Once I showed him some studies and stats on it, and especially once he met the midwife, he was fine. He is now a VERY outspoken homebirth advocate; it is downright embarrassing at times!

    And as far as pain tolerance goes... I am the world's biggest sook. My husband was amazed that I birthed a 4.1 kg baby in the loungeroom with no pain relief... but when I lay on the lounge afterwards he pulled a crocheted blanket over me and it caught on a hangnail on my big toe and I screamed and cried!

    It sounds like you are very educated about your options - way more than I was when i had my first baby!

  10. #82

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    It's not an unassisted homebirth we are talking about though is it, a homebirth with a midwife yeah? Because a midwife will have the skills necessary and if she thinks things are not looking good, she wont be a hero but as you to go in.
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
    Author of Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know
    Follow me in 2015 as I go Around The World + Kids!
    Forever grateful to my incredible Mod Team and many wonderful members who have been so supportive since 2003.

  11. #83

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    I think what smylie might be reacting to is that Ryn said she feels like keeping her labour a secret and locking herself in the bathroom to birth her baby. I don't think she literally meant she would, but was just expressing how trapped she was feeling by her DH's unwillingness to support her in an (assisted) homebirth and drug-free labour. Am I right?

  12. #84
    spreckemily Guest

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    Good luck Ryn with your wish for a drug free birth. I firmly believe in the woman's right to choose. I had the opposite problem when I had people bagging me for choosing pain relief saying I did not care for my daughter and what kind of mother do I think I am?????

    Basically, when I am induced (can't get around it!!!) I will take it as it comes and make my decision at the time. My main problem first time aorund was I had a midwife pushing drugs on me and then I had a second midwife saying I didn't need them and to stop being so silly!!! WTF!!!

    Whatever you decide, don't let ANYBODY talk you down or tell you otherwise!!

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