Homebirth General Discussion #10

[HotI]

Mean while no matter what sex my children are they are not letting me sleep at the moment is there a third sex that sleeps maybe, I want one of those

ooh, let me know if you find out about them!

[BellyBelly]

I kept dreaming of boys with my daughter. Cant remember with my son, but this time i'm dreaming of girls. I think its more to do with a meaning of having that gender than the actual gender? A good friend was totally convinced she was having a girl, connected with it as a girl, and it was a boy. Maybe think about what it means for you to have either gender? I cant seem to work it out lol

[Ilithyia]

Well obviously all that matters is we make it to 40 weeks this time and the babe is healthy.

I'd like a boy as we have the girls but it's not that important too us. Not to mention that the decision has already been made as there's nothing we can do to change that.

I don't mind either way. I think for me, I'm more focused on holding a healthy babe in my arms and being able to pour every ounce of love I have into him or her.

Time will tell

[Jennifer13]

I hope you get through this pg with a h&h babe at the end too, Sara, boy or girl. (And a beautiful home birth as well!).

We swayed for a boy, because DP really wanted a boy. Now I get to be with DD1 as she's growing up, I can understand why he'd want a boy. There's things she and I (and DD2 as well, when she's older) get to share that he doesn't 'get'. And because he hasn't seen it from having a boy, he doesn't know what he'd miss out on if he didn't have a girl. ITMS. Part of me wonders what having a son would be like, but I don't really dwell on it, so I can't say I'd be disappointed not to have one.

Frankly, I'd be happy to have half a dozen and chances are eventually I'd get both genders. (Although we do have a friend's sister who had six girls in a row... number seven was a boy - and no, they didn't 'keep trying for a boy'! They just wanted a big family). Since DP doesn't want half a dozen, he's going to have to love what he's got.

And my girls are two of those odd children who sleep, so maybe I shouldn't mess with that!

[HotI]

i have one of each, but haven't really found a difference (related to sex) yet. DH has 4 sisters and i have 3 brothers (and 1 sister) and neither of us are particularly gender specific in thought or action so it will be interesting to see what happens as DD and DS develop.

[Ilithyia]

Well you're all gonna roll you're eyes as me but I've decided not to book into MGP.

Today I've woken up more positive about a healthy pregnancy and after discussion with DP, we've decided to just plan for the HB.

I've just emailed Tricia Stuart again to ask if she is available. Due to our financial position, I've asked her if she can provide reduced antenatal care/birth support only. I finish my Degree this year so I'm pretty confident I can do all my own antenatal care with the occasional visit from her. Plus I have a few Midwife friends who I'm sure could do the occasional antenatal check.

So with that said, a birth at home is back on the cards (at this point). Fingers crossed for a uneventful pregnancy!

[Ilithyia]

Ok so I got a speedy reply from Tricia lastnight.

Good news and bad news.

She's moving to Cunnamulla to work as the Community Midwife but would be willing to fly back for the birth if she's able.

Do you think i'd have to pay for her flights?

Do you think I should suss out other Midwives?

It kinda suits me really due to the financial situation but its gonna make the "with woman" part of the journey a little hard.

Thoughts??

[Tegam]

Sara if you want a free doula...... I don't think I'm that far from you

[Jennifer13]

I think flights would be something you'd pay for - but ask her if that's what she'd expect.

I had a friend as my doula. She was fantastic. I knew she'd done it before, but it was less her experience and more the support I knew she'd give. My midwives had the experience, I needed someone to just be with me who'd been there before but didn't need to have any medical responsibility. That probably doesn't make any sense.

[Ilithyia]

Aww thanks for the offer Tegam I'll let you know if I need one. I'm actually hoping a good friend of mine will have moved down this way by then. She is a Doula I met in Townsville back when I first wanted to starting Doula-ing. She was my mentor is now a close friend. I've always envsioned her at my head for my first HB. Finger crossed shes down here in time.

Yeah I thought I'd maybe be responsible for it Jen. She's on vacation at the moment and is going to call me when she returns.

I know exactly what you mean. You mean someone to be 'with woman'. A Doula. Someone who is there primarily to nurture every labouring atom of you. I want that too So you make perfect sense

So I guess we'll work it all out when she calls.

Part of me is actually open to an FB. Its just my location that concerns me a bit about that. Plenty of time to work it all out anyways.

[Tegam]

Jen makes perfect sense


Good to see you said first Homebirth Sara not only Homebirth your friend sounds perfect! I hope she moves on time. It's about time all the stars aligned for you!


There's a lot of mental hurdles with a free birth. That's why I just couldn't in the end!

[Ilithyia]

Hehe - Yes FIRST homebirth. It'd have to be some serious business to take the option away from me now and in future.

Me too hun. They'll know for sure by August.

Yes I know what you mean. And i think unless you can jump those hurdles, FB should be left behind. There's no place for thinking in birth, esp the kind thats riddled with fear. I'm hoping its a decision I dont need to come too but I'm open to the option if all is perfectly normal with me and babe.



So lets talk birth pools.... Does anyone know of who does birth pool hire in the Brissy/Gold Coast area?

[Jennifer13]

I'm so excited, I met a new Mumma with a 10 mth old bub at church today and she had her baby at home!! First bub too. It's the first time I've bumped into a stranger who homebirthed! Is it strange that we were both so excited to discover this about each other?

I've invited her to play group on Tuesday so we can dissect every detail of our amazing homebirths. I can't wait. Sitting here grinning like an idiot at the thought!

A couple of ppl standing nearby just looked at us as though we were speaking a foreign language as we started to get all excited. DP got it when I came home and told him. Can't wait to go to my HB get together on Thurs and tell them too.

Ahhhh the sisterhood!

[Cricket]

I know exactly what you mean Jennifer. In our church, there are four other home-birth mums, and I have a few other friends who have done it, and it is great to sit and chat about it. It's surprising how much you find in common with women who have gone that route. I've generally found them to be intelligent, common sense, and down-to-earth kind of people. Several worked in the health care system, and know it's strengths and weaknesses, and that led them to the choice to have their babies at home.

[HotI]

I recently chatted with a woman at an ABA meeting who planned a homebirth, but then had to transfer. We didn't talk about our births that much but more about the continuity of care which was so important to both of us, and a strong reason behind our choice to homebirth.

[meow]

I love meeting other HB mummas IRL too. I had a few in my old playgroup and it was so lovely to share that with them and really connect.

Just had to get this out with my HBing women, cause you all get it. Took my youngest to the osteo the day and he was going over everything. Asked about the birth and gets to birth weight. 10lbs 6ozs. Oh wow, he says. Really big then. So did it hurt a lot?

Ugh. I just seems really dumb to me. This guy is a father of three and supposed to be pretty crunchy yeah? He's an osteo for pete's sake. Bigger babies don't hurt more?! I was kind of confused at first because labour is labour right? So I said, not any thing more than ordinary. Then I was thinking, well big baby could affect crowning and I did tear when his shoulders came out so I told him about that bit. But on reflection I realise we were just coming at it from totally different points of view and this guy clearly doesn't really understand birth. So don't bother asking questions about it. Humph.

[Ilithyia]

Personally, I find that quite rude.

"Did it hurt a lot?" Ummm whats that got to do with how you treat my Son?

Some people just dont have any boundaries!

[meow]

Exactly! I think that was my confusion... I trying to work out the relevance. Which is how I came to his positioning in birth, as that could be relevant.