Homebirth General Discussion #2

[Tegam]

Yeah, yeah... I said that a few weeks after the last one too. You're still on the high

SO TRUE!!!hehe

[meow]

I wanted to surrogate after last time- only way I could envisage having 50 children and getting to give birth all those times

My lastlabour was 17 hours and it did hurt! But it wasn't scary... I think I DO want a shorter labour now though. I know I said before I didn't, but the idea of being done & dusted in less than 6 hours and not feeling like I've been hit by a bus is much more appealing

[onthefly]

Pish. It'll be grand meow

Congrats Pumpkin!

So you're sticking with us then Arimeh

[Tegam]

but the idea of being done & dusted in less than 6 hours and not feeling like I've been hit by a bus is much more appealing

yay thats go for that then

[Arimeh]

but the idea of being done & dusted in less than 6 hours and not feeling like I've been hit by a bus is much more appealing

Urgh mine was 6 hours(ish) and I felt like I'd been run over by about ten bloody buses the next day.

I think I have to work through some fears though, so not sure whether to let you guys help me sort that out, or to find someone down here to work through them. I think its more that I know its bloody painful, whereas before I had Eden, I was ok with the pain cos I never really understood how bloody painful it was gonna be.. LOL

Now that I know what I'm in for - I'm kinda $hitting myself a little...

[Cricket]

Hey Arimeh - it doesn't have to be awful, really! I wouldn't ever want to go through my first labour again - it was way harder than the others. With my second labour and birth I felt much calmer and more in control. Yes, it did still hurt, but I knew it wasn't going to last forever, and when it gets really hard, that's when it's just about over.

DD3 was my first homebirth, and my first unmedicated birth - I think I was still a little nervous about it, and that held me up a bit. Every time the midwives came, my labour stopped! I laboured all day and stuck at 4cm! Finally at supper time, they broke my water for me, and things really picked up - baby was out in two hours. All in all, it was a great birth, and it's so very nice to be at home during labour and recovery!

With this little man, (#5) I had my best labour yet. I was really relaxed and comfortable, in my own bath. Labour progressed really quickly, but it wasn't too intense. I could breathe through the contractions, and honestly did joke around with the midwives in between. (I never really believed people when they said they did that.... lol) I went from 1cm to 10 cm in about 1 1/2 hours or so. Now when it came to pushing him out, it got a little harder, since he was in a terrible position (we didn't know that until he was out. ) but still over all, a great birth experience.

Mind set does make a HUGE difference. Do what you need to do to be comfortable and relaxed in labour. And mentally prepare yourself - read Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth. Some of it I found a little over the top, but she really knows birth, and emphasizes the mind-body connection. Really helpful, I thought.

You'll be OK. You know you can do it. You've done it before.

[Cricket]

And Hi Pumpkin Zulu! Congrats on the BFP! I had DD3 at home in the bath - it was great. DS would have been a waterbirth if he hadn't got stuck. Water is really the best thing for pain relief and relaxation in labour, I think. All the best with planning and preparing for yours!

[Arimeh]

Thanks Cricket I think because I never expected to have a natural birth that I sorta feel the DD2 was a fluke, and maybe I can't do it again because I was never supposed to? Argh I dunno, self doubt is killing me.

I tried getting the Ina May book the other week but they were all sold out, so I got Spiritual Midwifery, New Active Birth and Birthing from within instead. Started new active birth last night, so hopefully that triggers some stuff in my stupid brain to stop being so bloody negative and just believe in myself.

[meow]

Arimeh's Eden- I KNOW you can do it again!! I think having a good, honest chat with your midwife could help.

I guess I'm lucky that my hospital birth (birth centre) didn't involve any medication or interventions so I was still able to have the labour I wanted. It got a bit tricky at the end though as they were talking about transfer so I'm looking forward to not having dumb rules placed on me this time. I wasn't scared of labour but I don't like pain and I was pretty tense through most contractions, though I did manage a joke and small chat here and there. I also needed to squat pretty much the entire time so I could barely walk afterwards.

So like you, I do find labour painful. Contractions hurt. I wish I was one of those women who didn't feel it hurt but it does. That said, it's a natural pain that I didn't feel I needed to be removed from. It's not like a sore leg that you're not sure why it's sore or when it will stop... it's pain with a reason that you know will end. And THEN you get to feel like a champion. It's the most amazing thing I've done in my life. It has given me so much strength and power. I know you can, and will, do it again. You're a hero!

[Tegam]

think I have to work through some fears though, so not sure whether to let you guys help me sort that out, or to find someone down here to work through them. I think its more that I know its bloody painful, whereas before I had Eden, I was ok with the pain cos I never really understood how bloody painful it was gonna be.. LOL

How about you do both huni. We are all hear for you but some one on one support would be good for you too! Maybe the best advice is to try to focus on the pregnancy now and worry about labour later?? Also try to express your excitment over having another newborn to cuddle everytime a fear about birth comes up??

Not great on psycho babble sorry but ill try to help!!!

[Arimeh]

Meow - I knew it was a natural pain, but that didn't stop me begging for drugs and telling them I just wanted it to stop. My contractions were right on top of each other for hours, and I dunno - I just wanted it to end. And I didn't expect it to be like that. I didn't have any interventions or anything either, and to look back at my birth it was pretty much perfect, I was left on my own with DH to work through them (which I didn't really like, a bit of instruction would have been nice I think on how to deal with them - I only received advice whilst pushing and that was to not push but breathe through it, and I couldnt' even do that, my body just pushed her out without me doing anything.. LOL)

So it wasn't even that I had a traumatic birth, or that it was full of interventions or scary parts, cos it wasn't, its just the pain that I need to get a handle on. Maybe I feel like this because I always thought I was a bit of a tough person, like if I get pain anywhere else (I have dislocated my knees a few times) I just punch the floor or something to get through it, or breathe through it, but for some reason, the pain of contractions just got to me, they were far more intense than anything else I have ever felt, and I screamed through probably an hour of the labour.. which I hate admitting that I did it, because it just feels weak to me.. you know? I dunno, I guess I thought I would be tougher, and I am disappointed in myself, and I don't want to feel that again, which is probably why I fear this time around - who wants to disappoint themselves for a second time?

Does any of this make sense? I'm just typing as I'm thinking, so its probably all over the place.

Tegam - I know you are trying to help Although I could kill you cos you say you feel no pain.. LOL

[Arcadia]

arimeh. And welcome pz!

I found contractions were fine, but I was scared during pushing and that made it hurt more. I found the more I could loose myself in the pain the better...so stomping feet and embracing it. Fear is a massive part if pain in labour I think because your concious brain is trying to rationalize it out for you...but there is no space for a concious brain in labour. It all has to be that primal space entirely of your body...

I too feel more fear I think having gone through labour. For me it was easier to trust when I had no idea... Itms?

[Arimeh]

See I had hardly any pain during pushing - except for the stinging part at the top of the exit And that was only cos I thought she was coming out my wee wee hole instead.. (yes I did indeed say those exact words to the midwives. LOL)

So pushing for me was a total relief... no pain... and no ring of fire either. Its just the contractions that freak me out when I think of them!

[meow]

Oh hon! It sounds like a really tough labour and regardless of anything you did or said to get yourself through any labour you should never feel disappointed with yourself.

I was blessed in that my contractions always had breaks (some very short breaks near the end but never rolling contractions). You don't know how you will contract this time so you can't expect it to be the same. It may really surprise you. And if you need to scream again, then by god you just go ahead and scream! I'm no quiet, blissed out mumma in labour either

Your support doesn't sound it like was a good match for you and I'd really be talking to your MW about this. "Perfect" is only what is perfect for each person. If a hands off labour is not for you then let your carers know. Let them know the sort of things you need to hear and the support you're looking for. You deserve the best- this is your birth experience.

And you didn't push wrong because your body pushed Eden out- that's perfect! Your MW was trying toget you not to push the way did- after over an hour of pushing like a maniac to avoid transfer I was pushing without contractions and pushed right through crowning, causing a lovely 2nd degree tear.

[Arimeh]

Thanks meow

And ouch to the second degree tear. I got minor tears, up and down, but didn't need stitching or anything. I pushed for 45 minutes, although it didn't feel like that long!

Felt like bloody forever.. LOL

[meow]

The tear didn't hurt when it happened but stitching wasn't fun. Though in de-briefing that with my IMs I realise the stitching shouldn't have hurt either- doctors can get a bit impatient waiting for local anesthetic to work. Charming. Thanks for that trauma all because you're in a rush. My pushing was just over 2 hours all up... I was getting a bit over it too

[onthefly]

I think the thing with labour pain is that it's so incredibly intense. It's like it consumes you entirely and trying to fight against it only makes it worse. But then it's really hard to just let go.
I didn't have many contractions on top of each other thank goodness. The breaks are what got me through.

[Cassius2]

arimeh: calmbirth course babe! that's what i reckon helped me during the labour this time. last time with DD1 was excruciating...at one point i yelled out that my pelvis was shattering lol. oh i was glorious lol. i was scared and that lets in alot of adrenalin which constricts muscles (fight or flight response), so if you can keep oxygen flowing (ie through deep calm breathing, even if only between contractions) it helps a whole lot in keeping the adrenalin at bay and lessens the intensity of the pain (at least, this is what i found). the contractions this time where i really felt a bit yuk were just after my waters broke and the shock of that broke my calm-breathing cycle that i was in and sure enough the adrenalin went into overdrive, so had to really bring myself back in and get back into focus...i swear by calmbirth lol!

and Arcadia is right...tell that conscious brain to go somewhere else during labour lol! (we used visualisation and birth affirmations on the wall to 'distract' it while doing the calmbreathing and gentle touch - touch to stimulate oxytocin the 'love' hormone).

anyway, that is just my two cents...i am no birth goddess or guru. i was a chick that had birth trauma first time around and decided to run from the hospital this time and have a baby at home lol...yes, that glamorous and brave lol!