Really want a hb but unsupported by DH and family

[Amber4]

Thanks so much to all of you for your thoughts and suggestions. They're all really helpful.. especially the recommended resources. I'll get busy reading/watching and I love the idea of saying to DH that he needs to do equal the research to have an equal say in the decision (I don't think he will, but at least I will feel that that's fair).

e_p... no, not blunt at all. Just really, really helpful. Thanks.

Jackrose, that's a great idea about talking to a birth counsellor. I'm in nsw but I'm sure I can find someone. I'll be meeting with my doula for the first time in a couple of weeks and I'm pretty sure she does debriefing re past births, so it might be a good start to talk with her.

Jennifer, that's really interesting about your PHI.... we have full cover (have had it forever) with NIB and when I contacted them they said they don't pay a single thing towards HB costs (only a proportion of antenatal or postnatal fees, and only then up to $400 limit). The consultant I spoke with told me that because Medicare don't cover HB then no health fund would either. Maybe I should do some ringing around! I think some funds are willing to waive the waiting periods if I'm transferring from equal or higher cover elsewhere.

Flying Butter, you sound really strong with your position. I don't intend to tell anyone in my family about the decision... they don't have the same ideas and I know it will just lead to a myriad of attempts on their part to change my mind. If DH decides to tell his family, well, I doubt they will be very supportive of the idea but they would probably keep their thoughts to themselves (or at least not talk to me about them, which will do). I know I just have to get my head to a place that feels convinced about my right to make my own birthing decisions and accept that others will judge, and I don't need their approval.

Thanks again to all of you xx