22 and pregnant and overpowered by MIL

[bellelass]

I'd be a bit worried about the fact that she's made "all the decisions" for your partner and that she cooks and cleans for him still. I guess you are living with them and all. Hmm.

I agree with everyone who has said that you should try to nip the pushiness in the bud. If she wants to plaster tacky-as teddy bears all over her house, I guess you don't have much say in it BUT you do have a say in what house you'll move into and how you raise your child.

My Mil is great, she really is, but we've had a bit of struggle over her PRECIOUS son and me co-sleeping and baby-wearing. Its not that she's against it, just thinks I'm very strange and doesn't understand even though I have repeatedly explained things to her. That's what it takes I reckon- constant gentle reminding that this is my baby and my family and while I appreciate her help/input, at the end of the day we're different people who will do things differently. That said, sometimes I just cave and let her do what she wants because I know she means well and wants to do things for us. Like the day she insisted on taking me shopping to buy a pram that I don't want and probably won't use.

Just a thought on the house, though. If you don't let her at least feel that she's "had her say" in the house, she might be hurt and feel like you are shutting her out of your lives. Its not like you have to listen to everything she says or do what she tells you to, take it with a pinch of salt. Its probably important to her to feel a part of the process, and you don't have to take what she says to you as criticism. She probably just remembers how little she knew at 22 and wants to save you some trouble. My mil confided to me recently how hurt she still is that my sil and her husband bought a house and property and didn't ask for any advice, that it makes her feel like they don't care about what she thinks and they don't need her. It wasn't like she expected to tell them where to live, just that she missed out on "being mum" and it caused her pain.

Anyway, I hope that helps. I think most mothers have a bit of a hard time adjusting to their "little boys" having another woman in their lives who ranks higher priority. That's what it is though- an adjustment.